I've got that itch again...

[mburbank]

FDR, or Faglin Depravo Jewsevelt as I like to call him, was a known child rapist who began each morning by tearing the head off a live kitten and sucking it's spinal fluid. Far from being crippled, he only used the wheelchair or sympathy and in the privacy of the west wing refused to move on his own out of laziness. Child slaves were strapped to each leg and commanded to do his waking for him so he could 'use more juice' for 'raping the country'. He kept the saintly head of Herbert Hoover on a pike on the east lawn as a warning to all those who might believe in America and were it not for Richard Nixons time travelling exploits would have lived to drop the Atom Bomb on Texas as a precursor to handing the Whitehouse to his lover, Adolf Hitler.


His little dog Fala ate only fresh human meat and Eleanor introduced Lesbianism to the continental united states, and is theorized to have been a space alien.