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Schimid Schimid is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:06 AM        God Bless America
Alright, so, I'm at the mall with my friends one night and my other friend shows up. She's got this friend with her, and that friend is fucking gorgeous. We share a few glances here and there, and she bites my shoulder.

Later on, we really start flirting. She steals my old, beat-up hat, and I steal her purse and walk around with it. She tackled me but couldn't get it away and she was tooootally feeling me up OMG

Later on, after a small "ordeal" about my hat, I let her have it and say "You're lucky you're so cute " and we both go home. In the car with my friends, I find out she is going out with some Arabian guy who I've known for about seven years. She's been going out with him for a year and a half.

I was sad

But then, not an hour and a half later, I find out she's going to dump him.

I'm seeing her again tomorrow. She's gonna wear my hat. :D

EDIT - oh, yeah, and add input and your own experiences about rescuing fair damsels from sand monkeys.
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AChimp AChimp is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:13 AM       
Kudos to you, Schimid! You have saved her from the heathen Mohammedan and his (possibly) uncircumsized penis!
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:15 AM       
What happened to the girl who made you the Nintendo origami?

And Muslims are always circumcised.
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:17 AM       
Careful though, he might go into one of those Arab rages and administer some Islamic justice, which would probably involve getting your penis severed.
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Schimid Schimid is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:20 AM       
That girl that made the Nintendo origami, that relationship went out with a whimper because she turned into a self-centered bitch. She's the biggest bitch I know of, right now.

Oh well, the home game is a lot cuter anyway.

EDIT - theapportioner, dude, i'm seriously scared of that. not joking.
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Brandon Brandon is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:39 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by theapportioner
Careful though, he might go into one of those Arab rages and administer some Islamic justice, which would probably involve getting your penis severed.
If I were the chick I'd be scared of a brutal death by stoning.
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Schimid Schimid is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:43 AM       
The guy's really scrawny and timid, so there really isn't anything to worry about.

Plus, the whole school is on my side, he said we deserved the 9/11 attacks and everyone in my school is a red meat-eatin', tobacco-spewin', warm-blooded American >:o
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 11:25 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schimid
That girl that made the Nintendo origami, that relationship went out with a whimper because she turned into a self-centered bitch. She's the biggest bitch I know of, right now.
Nintendorigami will do that to a person.
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The One and Only... The One and Only... is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:04 PM       
Scrawny, timid... he's the guy flying a plane into your house.
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executioneer executioneer is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:06 PM       
is that an army of darkness reference

-willie
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:16 PM       
Sorta how I met my girlfriend.
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AChimp AChimp is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 12:55 PM       
My hopes that every response in this thread would contain "penis" have been dashed.
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Schimid Schimid is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:07 PM       
We're seeing a movie today. It might be Peter Pan or something. I told her to hold my hand so I don't get scared of the pirates in the movie.
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Royal Tenenbaum Royal Tenenbaum is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 01:48 PM       
The only pirate there will be you! A pirate of Arabian people's girlfriends. We've taken there oil, now there women!?
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Matt Harty Matt Harty is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:30 PM       
They're all going to end up exploding so why even bother with women?
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Schimid Schimid is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:35 PM       
Holy shit, I just now noticed that this whole thing is like an episode of Kid Notorious, except the girl isn't Arabian.

Fuck.
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:36 PM       
Please say you got away with a couple of the nintendorigamis in that past relationship.
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Schimid Schimid is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:37 PM       
No. Just as I was leaving her house for the last time, I saw the one thing she made, Toad, crushed on the floor.

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ProfessorCool ProfessorCool is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 02:38 PM       
Game Over

But don't fret schimid, the real princess is in another castle!
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Rongi Rongi is offline
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Old Jan 18th, 2004, 05:32 PM       
Schimid I seriously think he's going to send you a letter saying "Congradulations on getting the girl" and it will have anthrax in it
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DamnthatDavid DamnthatDavid is offline
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Old Jan 20th, 2004, 03:23 AM       
Crazy Foreigners... I say, lets close our boarders.
Hell, I'll ride boarder patrol along Mexico for free, as long as they provide the guns.
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Brandon Brandon is offline
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Old Jan 20th, 2004, 03:57 AM       
OH, FUCK THAT DAVID.
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Perndog Perndog is offline
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Old Jan 20th, 2004, 12:15 PM       
I did boarder patrol once. A bunch of us skiers went around the mountain looking for boarders and roughing them up.
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Big Papa Goat Big Papa Goat is offline
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Old Jan 21st, 2004, 12:47 AM       
Skiing is for fags
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ProfessorCool ProfessorCool is offline
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Old Jan 21st, 2004, 12:54 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perndog
I did boarder patrol once. A bunch of us skiers went around the mountain looking for boarders and roughing them up.
I hope you approached them everytime by saying "well, well, well, what do we have here..."
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