What the hell is wrong with people?

[Evil Robot]

This is merely a precursor to the viral outbreak which began in your lab when a female employee, having sex on a photo copier, knocked over an improperly stored petry dish of anthrax. It quickly ran it's course and caused the female employee to convulse and fall to the floor during an incredibly violent bout of the shits. Later that day employees from the lab wen't home to spread the virus to thier children, who in turn took it to school.

In a few days the wall-feces won't seem like that big of a problem in the grand scheme of things.