How to trick girls into thinking they like you?

[Anonymous]

Oao. You're a shy, anti-social nerd. There really isn't any way to justify it.

I mean, you could go, 'The sheer amount of snack cakes I inhale obviously says that I don't care about the state of my well-being, my parents' funds, or even my cardiovascular system. This makes me dangerous to myself, and probably even to other people. I'm a man of mystery.'

No. You're just a roly-poly little man whose only female relationship is with Miss Hostess.