removing ticks

[Perndog]

You people are ridiculous. Not a lot of ticks in your neighborhood, I take it?

I'd take walks in the woods as a little kid and sometimes come back with three or four on me (not always biting, but generally..). Two fingers, grab it next to your skin, rip it off and then torture it with whatever implements are handy. If it's the kind that would infect you with something, it already started injecting you with saliva when it bit and you're fucked no matter how you take it off. And if it's not that kind, the wound it makes is small enough that the only way to actually hurt yourself would be to try and dig it off your skin with a knife.