My Plan for Summer Sanitarium

[Paul138]

We all know the Metallica tour is coming up, and although most of your repress your absolute former loyality, I'd see these guys no matter what. I went through the blistering heat of an outdoor racetrack arena to see them 2 years ago, and although I nearly collapsed of dehydration, I loved the show, and goddamnit, I'm seeing it again! Now it's at the Edward Jones dome, with A/C.

Then of course the set list. I don't have a problem with Mudvayne, since I find them very comical, so there's 2 bands I like. The others, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Deftones, I do have a very big problem with. Deftones: these guys can't write a decent song to get fed for one night. Linkin Park: I don't associate with a band that makes 10 remixes of their single and call it a 2nd album. Limp Bizkit: Well, we all have a little resentment. The first shitty rap band, now without a guitarist (THANK YOU WES!!!) doin' it's comeback. These stumpfucks have no place in our society, nor anyone elses. A line-up of some of the worst bands one can think of.

Yet, I can't miss out on one of the best bands that ever existed, next to Black Sabbath & Led Zepplin (I don't care what you wanks and lurkers think. THEY DEFINE METAL). There has to be a way to pass the time. Something cheap, yet refined, and maybe trouble-causing...

::mischivous laughter:: I know.

THROW PIES ON POSERS!

This is indeed the best way to immortalize the concert experience.

I'm not talking about baked pies or frozen, that'd be too big of a bitch to handle. I mean the pies that are only crust holders and whip cream, that will splatter easily upon contact. I don't think security would be suspicious if I brought a can of whipped cream and a friend brought crust holders. "I like whip cream on my hot dog, which I promise I'll buy at your food stands!" "I only brought crust holders. What the fuck am I gonna do with them?"

I'm also considering bringing a Sharpie Pen. I can write messages on crust holders. "Thoust shalt not recieve mercy when thoust hast a backwards cap." or something similar. I'll let the words come to me.

And, if I get lucky, I can throw a pie on FRED DURST! That'd be something I can cross off my "Things I Want to do Before I Die" list, right next to 3 women at once and the dream guitar rig (I know I'm a greedy 'lil bastard ).

Anyways, that's my plan and I encourage others to do the same. Happy hunting!


(And I do know Fred was hit by a pie before, but I think that was a lemon key pie, so whoever did it was dedicated to fully humiliate Durst.)

[Ninjavenom]

You shut up about the Deftones.

[BulletCatcher]

The Deftones own your shitty taste in music, you pile of sloppy after fuck.

And anyone stupid enough to pay that much to see Metallica play crappy new songs deserves to be put through all those horrible bands' sets.

[Ninjavenom]

[Paul138]

Okay, so you enjoy Deftones. Well, I do admit my judging was rather harsh, so I gave it a review.

I went to kazaa and typed deftones for some files. I went for the song with the catchiest title. "Knife Party" fits, so I gave it a shot.

I do have to admit, when I heard the guitars and the explosion of bass and drums, I was surprised. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they have potential even. Then the vocals came.

Whatever crawled up this man's throat and died didn't fully decompose. His wailing reminded me of some ambinence you'd hear on soft porno. This man got a record deal? And then you hear a woman screaming, which I assumed was the vocalist. This man definetly has a femine side. Then I hear vocals over the screaming, and I think "Oh, I get it, stabbing! This ruined an already ruined song!"

All and all, Deftones needs to fire their current vocalist and get someone better, and I'm still fully convinced these people wouldn't get a sandwich if they played in the streets... unless people wanted them to shut the fuck up.

And I fully enjoyed putting "Knife Party" in my Recycle Bin and deleting it.

[Ninjavenom]

Chino can sing, buddy. Yes, he can scream like a woman, but the one in the background of Knife Party was not him, it was an actual woman. It adds to the song's atmosphere greatly. Perhaps you'd be better suited to their older songs. Try "Around The Fur", "Bored", "Seven Words", and "Lhabia". If those don't suit you, perhaps you've just got ridiculous tastes. :/

[Irwin M. Fletcher]

Originally Posted by Paul138

We all know the Metallica tour is coming up, and although most of your repress your absolute former loyality...

Bullshit. I still love old Metallica, but now they are a horrid embarrassment and should be ashamed of themselves. Their music is complete trash now, they are lazy and only want to make as much money as possible.

Anyone who attends that tour is a poser.

[Paul138]

Originally Posted by [AVERSIONLINE

]

Bullshit. I still love old Metallica, but now they are a horrid embarrassment and should be ashamed of themselves. Their music is complete trash now, they are lazy and only want to make as much money as possible.

Anyone who attends that tour is a poser.

Quick to judge. Wait for the next album.

[whoreable]

LOL
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Preteen Nonude

[Skulhedface]

Originally Posted by ninjavenom

Chino can sing, buddy. Yes, he can scream like a woman, but the one in the background of Knife Party was not him, it was an actual woman. It adds to the song's atmosphere greatly. Perhaps you'd be better suited to their older songs. Try "Around The Fur", "Bored", "Seven Words", and "Lhabia". If those don't suit you, perhaps you've just got ridiculous tastes.

Ninja, if you're trying to put a metalhead onto Deftones, I just have to point out that you should've included "Headup". Any semi-metalhead should appreciate a cameo by Max Cavalera, especially one that likes Soulfly or to a lesser extent Sepultura.

[edit] Considering I never gave a shit about Suicidal Tendencies, that gives me another reason not to care (Suicidal Tendencies' old bassist took over for Jason Newsted)

PS: This one goes into the Useless Shit category, but it still fits: The song "Headup" has the lyrics that inspired Max to name his new band Soulfly. He only screams it in that song 1,000,000 times.

[whoreable]

I always thought ST was pretty cool...but then again It has been a long time...
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ORDINARY LIFE INSURANCE FORUM

[Ninjavenom]

I don't actually care much for Headup as much as the rest of the album, so i guess i neglected it. I don't see any reason for someone not to like the Deftones, though, besides the fact that they're kinda emo. :/

[Paul138]

Well, it's me again.

Okay, one more review, but that's it! I took your suggestions and looked up "Headup" and, being my nature, gave it a constructed review.

Into the song I get the same cool metal beat from the guitars, bass, and drums. And WHOA NELLY do these vocals still suck! It reminded me of someone putting his mic into his mouth entirely and trying to sing through it. I don't mind a little disgruntled scream every once in a while, but highly overdubbed screams throughout the entire song and often joined by the other members of the band isn't too entertaining. Furthermore, I cannot make out one damn word that came out of that mouth. It may be that screaming but nothing is desiepherable in that song.

To top off my total dissappointment, the outro on the song had me suspended in midair only to let me down and depressed. I mean, the vocalist could've said something instead of light wailing. I don't know what any of you see in this band but I'm convinced this band really needs to fire the singer. He may be a cool guy in real life but he needs to be a backup for Michael Jackson, because I'm sure this guy also harmonizes the last few notes of "Happy Birthday to You." Maybe a few singing lessions and less rapping (if you could call it that). Yes, I do distinctly hear rapping in that song.

Two conclusions: The vocalist has a brain tumor or something lodged in his brain due to 5-year-old self-mutalation and Two I fully enjoyed sending "Headup" to my Recycle Bin.

[Skulhedface]

Not a Sepultura fan, eh?

I like the Deftones, that's all I care about. I'd rather see them instead of Metallica (unless they manage to bring Cliff Burton back to life and convince him to pantysmack the hell out of Lars for a few weeks)

[Paul138]

I am a fan of Soulfly though, since it takes talent to turn a sitar into a burning swirling metal instrument of death. They also have great spiritual influences. But on their second album most of the guest signers sucked major monkey. Haven't gotten their 3 album yet.
Haven't tuned in to Spectrula yet either. :/

[Ninjavenom]

I got 3 at a local pawn shop for two bucks. it's okay, but not as good as primitive. The 9/11 song especially irritates me, it's just a moment of silence.

[CastroMotorOil]

man the whole world would be so much better if cliff came back and smacke lars around. Its my theory that metallica's downfall is all lars' fault. I don't rember heard james or kirk saying anything about napster or always opening their goddamn mouths. I think they just stopped caring. lars is the asshole he has destroyed metallica. no wonder jason left the band.

[Skulhedface]

So you're saying Kirk and James are the bitches to Lars' butch?

[Paul138]

I think starting out in abandoned warehouses eating meat by hand would drive anyone insanely greedy.

A quote from Kirk before the Napster hearings, asked to join Lars in court:
"I'm not fucking doing it!"

[Skulhedface]

I was just implying how everyone makes it SOUND.

I still think Kirk Hammett is a great guitarist, but MAN do I miss the older sound. James and Lars and the Suicidal Tendencies guy can go circle jerk in a kiddie porn lab for all I care.

Ironic Sidenote: One of my favorite bands of all time is Faith No More, and one of my girl's favorites is Zakk Wylde, so although we both hate the corporate whoring thing Ozzy does with MTV, we were both amazed that Ozzy's band had a member of our favorite bands in it (Zakk Wylde, of course, and Faith No More's old drummer)

[Paul138]

Ozzy's been cheating death since "Ozmosis" and has put up with a lot of shit in his lifetime. I say let's just let him have his moment in the sunshine, and we should prolong it, because as soon as he dies we'll all go focusing back to Barbra Strisand and corrupt governors, and I'd rather see Ozzy curse dog shit than hear about some washed-up diva's lifestyle.

Oh yeah, and I want to see another Black Sabbath reunion because I missed the last one.

[noob3]

I'd only pay to see that shit if Cliff Burton's zombified corpse attacks, kills and eats Fred Durst's brains. All while ripping out Anesthesia.

[kirkis]

my name is kirk.

btw, MuDvAyNe Owns, and deftones are awesome. So what if he screams like a girl, it's all part of the emotion in the song. Metallica = greedy bitches. Or as u all were saying, lars = greedy bitch. Doesn't matter to me, i'm about the music, so whatever. I like some metallica.

[Skulhedface]

Cliff Burton would have more important brains to eat.

BESIDES, aren't you forgetting? Fred Durst would NEED to have a brain first. How fitting that he got appointed as VP at Interscope.

SKULHEDFACE: Bringing you the best in useless, inapplicable fucking trivia since Feb. 20th!

[CTX]

I can't stand the Deftones. Granted they are talented, but Chino ruins the band, IMO. His whisper is incredibly annoying.

By the way, Mudvayne is an incredibly talented band. Look past the admittedly goofy image and you'll realize this. Linkin Park, Limp Bizkit.. Bah.

Metallica and Mudvayne look to be the only good reasons to go.