BUSH FALLS OFF BIKE AGAIN?! HAS HE FALLEN OFF THE WAGON?

[mburbank]

What's to understand?

It's the proto reality show, at the end of which the winner becomes commander in Cheif of the world'd largest nuclear arsenal. Anyone who wants can vote against the one they dislike most, and both contestants are forced to endure endless humiliation while pretending nothing could be more fun. We haven't even gotten to the part where we start dragging their wives and kids through it, but hang on, we're almost there.

Theresa Heinz admitted bluntly on NPR yesterday that the Pumkin Spice cookie reecipe submitted in her name to Good Housekeeping (I think that's the mag) was not in fact her recipe, someone on staff did it, and she hates pumkin spice. This is sure to be a HUGE scandal because it means Heinz LIED and what kind of a man picks a LIAR for a wife? Don't tell me it means she doesn't give a fuck about cookies and she doesn't care who knows it, she could have told Good Housekeeping to shove it in her own special lingo or go fuck yourself in the Republican phrase of the moment but SHE LIED, SHE TOLD A COOKIE LIE AND A MAN WHO SLEEPS IN THE SAME BED AS A COOKIUE LIAR HAS NO BUSINESS SENDING OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN OFF TO DIE DEFENDING FREEDOM! And before you dis the bakeoff, Chimp, I'd inform your superior Canadain monkey hyde that since the bakeoff started (Like, two presidential cycles ago) it has never faile to predict the eventual first lady! SO WHAT THE HELL IS THERE NOT TO UNDERSTAND?!