My pants are haunted

[Crimson Ghost]

I had some pants once. Then they were stolen by a tribe of nomad squirrels who were bend on world domination. I was only lucky that I escaped with my life. These squirrels were crazy! There was one squirrel, his name was Randal, who whould jump in the air and make this buzzing sound as pounced upon me. Then there was Betty, she was the looker of the group. She had eight of the most beautiful nipples I have EVER seen. She was in love with Randal, so with one swing of a branch I took Betty's head off. The other squirrles took off, but not Randal. He was happy that Betty was dead and he gave me some pills of some sort. He also told me him name was not really Randal and that he was a human reborn as lord of the nomadic squirrels. He had overdosed on pills while online one day, and then WHAM... he was a squirrel. I took the pills and started to walk down the street with Randal. Suddenly his fellow squrrels surrounded me and demanded my pants. I refused and they were upon me. One grabed my pocket knife, while the others took my pants. The squirrel with the knife told me to leave of he'd "cut me". So, I left. To this day I wish I had two pairs of pants.