***BAD NEWS FOR LIBS***

[Preechr]

IT'S ALWAYS GOTTA BE ABOUT YOU, DON'T IT?!

Why can't you FOR ONCE just think about the politicians, Max?! All those years they spent suffering, out in the cold, being forced to work part-time for next to nothing, trying to represent our country to France wearing nothing but rags, virtually outcast from society if not exactly guaranteed invitations to the best parties... Is it too much to ask for to cut them a little slack now?

I mean, what kind of society do we live in when a choice to serve your fellow man as a CIVIL SERVANT gets you branded as a scumbag and leaves you open to whatever barbs some librarian on the internet wants to throw at you? Do you think George Bush learned to fly those planes for fun? I bet you'll still be laughing on the day some super-enemy invades our country and for some reason it all comes down to who knows how to fly a plane that was decomissioned back in the 60's (because all our modern planes were tore up or something... use your imagination) and the only person raising their hand is DUBYA. He'll be there to save all our asses and you'll still be cracking wise on him, won't you?

Or Kerry. Have you ever spent four months doing something? Well, HE has. It wasn't just something stupid, either... It was VIETNAM, man. Sure, everybody else went for over a year, but even if he didn't have enough time to grow one of those uber-kewl jihad beards he sure as Hell risked his life to save yours! Come off the hip a little, dude! Max Cleland doesn't have any LEGS, for Chrissakes! And John Edwards... Well, he's kinda sucky... but he's bet his whole political career on this election. Have YOU ever bet YOUR career on anything?! Your Tax Money is the only thing keeping Dick Cheney ALIVE, Max. He's so damn old, if he had to quit now he wouldn't last a month.

Dammit, this is AMERICA, and we're supposed to be above your kind of political racism. After everything these folks have had to endure, we BY GOD owe them a little something, don't you think? Call it reparations, but say it with a little reverence and respect. If it wasn't for great men like George W Bush and John F Kerry, we'd all be... Umm... something bad. REALLY bad!

Now, send them some money.