Gay Friend: You got problem with gays, cause im gay and can beat you up and shit.
Davin: No.
Gay Friend: Good, cause then we're fuckin.
Davin: Shit.
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?