Ok this person with the e-mail
hamilton679@hotmail.com added me to his msn list and I don't know him so he talked to me. I've had a few strangers add me in the past and a few of them tried to play this 'I know who you are but who am I' game with me where I'm some evan helm person that's going out with some erica. Obviously somebody from a message-board wanting to fuck with me. I bited the first time but when it happened again, I just blocked the new msn adresses as they came. This stopped a year ago or so. Apparently this guy decided to have another try at this. Normally I'd block him but I was bored. Not much came out of it. This is the transcription and feel free to harass this person as much as you want.
Austin: HI EVAN HELM\
Austin: HOW ARE YOU TODAY
Helm: I am well if you discount this strong sense of deja vu just now.
Austin: who is this
Helm: I am Helm. I live in a house. Outside it's green.
Helm: And who are you?
Austin: what
long pause
Austin: is this evan
Helm: I have long since shed my fleshy skin in favour of cold hard metal and slightly less hard but equally cold sillicone alloy.
Helm: I have no name!
Austin: yeah ok
Austin: you freak
Helm: Are you a girl?
Helm: We harvest female skin to make sun dresses for the robots in the summer!
Helm: We are interested in taking your skin too, if you don't mind.
Austin: your a nut
Helm: We tried using male skin but it's too oily and porous. The robots don't like it
Austin: shut the fuck up
Helm: How about your teeth do you need your teeth?
Austin: are you talking to erika
Austin: erica
Helm: I'm afraid I'm currently wearing erica, so I can't talk to her anymore
Helm: She makes a pretty dress
Austin: your so weird
Helm: And you're a tired old character, but that's not stopping you, it's not stopping me, it's not stopping anybody! So, sundresses?
Austin: what
Helm: Point.
Helm: So are we through can I post this yet?
Helm: Anything to add?
Austin: what
Austin: who is this
Helm: Ok. Noted! Thanks for talking! We'll be over to harvest your first few layers of skin ASAP!
Austin: yeah sure
Austin: later
Helm: Ok thanks! Bye!
That was supposed to be the thread, but as I'm typing this up, he's talking to me again. Wait.
Haha this is getting somewhere. Long log:
Austin: who is this
erica has been added to the conversation.
Helm: I am part of a collective existence. I lack a dualistic understanding of the world. I am whole with the robot empire. The robots have won. The waveform has been completely collapsed. You fleshy bags of sundress will soon perish.
erica: who are you?
erica: what is your first name
Helm: Are you interested in having your skin be harvested for our purposes, erica?
erica: fuck no
erica: who the hell are you
You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be has been added to the conversation.
Helm: More fleshbags!
erica: what the hell are you talking about?
erica: where do you live
Helm: I currently operate in Body Harvesting Factory 43
erica: ok
erica: and.. that is where
Austin: dude really tell me who the hell you ae
You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: where are you from
Helm: On the dry plains. It used to be green, outside. Now it's just concentrated dehydrated dioxide- tinted crimson wasteland.
Helm: I come from the machine brain.
erica: your a fucking freak
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam has been added to the conversation.
Helm: Even more fleshbags! You'll soon perish! Flying robots! A new breed of mankiller!
Austin: yeah ok
erica: what kind of drugs do you take?
Austin: why you gotta be actin like this
lol
You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: who old are you
erica: are you a robot too?
Helm: I have been operational for 3 human years.
erica: do you have harvested skin on you
erica: ?
Austin: on your fake penis
Helm: The machine brain detests the term 'robot'. It comes from the russian word for servitude. We serve no master!
erica: you said it yourself
You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: WHO OLD ARE YOU
that's just awesome. This is where I decide to drag this out.
Austin: or do you have a dildo shoved up so far your ass you have to make all this shit up
Helm: My rod-a-thrust is completely made from titanium alloy.
erica: i'm just using the words you use
holy shit she's right I did say 'robot' before! erica's too smart for me!
erica: so i bet you dont get much action do you?
Helm: I have not yet been called in the factory for replacement. So I'm new enough, I guess!
Helm: I flayed three fleshbags two human days ago.
erica: flayed?
You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be: what the fuck
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam has left the conversation.
Helm: We'll get you...
erica: i detest the word fleshbag
Helm: Aren't we the smart one of the bunch?
You mean the whole world to me if i could go anywhere on earth your arms is where i'd want to be has left the conversation.
erica: your a freak
Helm: JUST YOU AND ME AUSTIN. AND ERICA.
erica: how old are you?
Helm: SHE GETS TO WATCH AS I POUND YOUR FACE IN.
Helm: STONE COLD MY ASS
erica: you dont know who we are
erica: dumbass
Helm: I make pretty sundresses!
erica: your a fag
Austin: ok
Helm: ok glad you cleared that one up for all three of us
Austin: well sorry we interupted your sundress making bc i didnt mean to put your address in so goodbye
erica: so your a fag?
Helm: bye bye!
Helm: I do not have any cigarettes on me, if that's what you're asking, Erica.
Helm: You know, Erica, I'm beginning to like you.
Helm: And your skin.
erica: oh quite the smart ass arn't we
Helm: Especially your skin.
erica: you've never seen my skin you freak
Helm: How do you know!
Helm: eyes eyes eyes everywhere
Helm: but don't worry. I don't like girls. That's gross
(
erica: so you are gay
Helm: I actually have been a little blue, before you came into my life, light of my life. life
Austin: alright dude lets just delete are addresses
Helm: Gay? New England!
erica: you need help
Helm: I need your skin. That's what I need.
Helm: This sundress is starting to tear.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam has been added to the conversation.
erica: you need mental help
Helm: Skin. Skin. Skin.
erica: and you dress in women's clothing
erica: go watch a porno if you want skin
Helm: well, you could say that, I guess...
Helm: in the most basic of women clothing.
Helm: You're my porno, dear erica.
erica: you wear women's underwear
Austin: well good bye helm
erica: shut the hell up
Helm: Bye bye Austin!
erica: your a freak
Helm: One in my basement, yeah. How'd you know?
Helm: I keep him tied up and all.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: austin who is this guy
Helm: I knew you wouldn't put up Austin. Pussy. The rock kicks your ass and he's a striper dancer thing!
Austin: Hopefully well see eachother sometime so we can share are skin together and make our skin elastic into the night as we bring out our alloys of thrust
Helm: I like you, Austin.
Austin: ok good bye
Helm: For stone cold, you warm my positronic heart right up.
Austin Hamilton has left the conversation.
Helm: IT'S JUST YOU AND ME I WISH WE COULD GO BACK TO THE OLD ASHLEY AND ADAM. AND ERICA. SHE GETS TO SEE ME TEAR YOUR EYEBALLS OUT.
Helm: I mean, uh, if that's what you wanna do.
Helm: We could just hang out, or something.
Helm: If that's what you wanna do.
Helm: I like you erica.
Helm: I like your skin.
erica: your a fucking freak, and you need mental help
Helm: You know?
erica: your a frek
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: Helm who are you
Helm: I AM SENTIENT
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok
erica: your a dumbass
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: erica do you know who this guy is
Helm: Nope. None of them here.
erica: no
Helm: But I know erica!
Helm: I know her well, you know.
Helm: Biblically.
erica: shut the fuck up
Helm: Ok I'm sorry erica
Helm: ( pst, sundress )
erica: you dont know anything about me, and i dont want to hear anymore of your stupid shit
Helm: Please don't leave erica! I think I'm in love with you!
erica: im' leaving
Helm: I admit it! Fleshy love!
erica: shut the hell up
erica: get help
Helm:Please don't go! I need your skin!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: Helm how old are you
erica has left the conversation.
Helm: Hey I wish, you know, might consider a name change? Indians are out, you know?
Helm: You knooooow?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: change my name
Helm: Ok! Your clothes are red!
Helm: And you're now named Josh!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no I don't think so
Helm: Red clothes!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: red shorts
Helm: close enough, stud
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: how did you know
hahaha
Helm: I am a great magician!
Helm: Bird. Biiiird. Biiirdie!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: where are you from
Helm: On a more true note, I have cameras in your room.
Helm: I can seeee you.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: right
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what am I doing
Helm: I also keep track of what's going on in your head whenever you pick up the phone. Brainwaves. And airwaves. Scary, huh?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yeag
Helm: You are typing on your keyboard!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yeah
Helm: See? I know everthing!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no shit
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what eles am i doing
Helm: See, ok it's true. I can't say what goes on in your head.
Helm: it's a database problem, it needs to detect a bare minimum of activity before it stars logging.
Helm: You're not doing it. Sorry dude.
Helm: Just... try to think more.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what did i just do
Helm: *not* think more, apparently!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what is your name
Helm: Arthur!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: whatever
Helm: I seek the holy grail!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: whatever
Helm: Red!
Helm: What's the air-speed velocity of an un-ladden swallow?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: like i know
Helm: I'M SORRY IT'S THE END OF THE MOVIE FOR YOU
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what movie
I get an idea here 
Helm: Hey wait, are you good-looking?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yea
Helm: Wanna cyber?
Helm: what r u wearin
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: red shorts and a white shirt
Helm: ok I am wearing nothing but one of your shirts and white cotton panties.
Helm: It's too big for me and I look all cute.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you calling my house
Helm: {Baby, don't worry about the phone, come to the bed. I wanna kiss you I want to feel your manhood in me} she said.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: you don't even know what i look like
Helm: This is no time to worry about that, indian boy! I need your manhood. Now. Manhood.
Helm: I'm a strong independent woman. Word up!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: to bad i am a girl
Helm: oh. My bad. Wanna cyber, still?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you a girl
Helm: Well... almost
Helm: The operation's due next month
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what are you
Helm: Does it really matter? Cannot our hearts connect anyhow, in the vast digital sea of the internet? Kindred spirits, that sort of thing?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yes it matters i want to know
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you in school
Helm: Ok, I'm a guy Are you satisfied now? Now that I've laid my soul all bare?
Helm: Can we cyber now?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: I want to see you
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: a picture
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: hellp
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: hello
Helm: If I show you one of my pictures, do we get to cyber ?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yes
Helm: Ok, but you go first
Helm: I'm kinda shy
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: go first on what
Helm: I go by the internet name The One and Only in the i-mockery.net message boards. I've got a massive cock, but i'm a little shy with girls.
Helm: Could you give me one of your pictures first
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no let me see a picture of your face
Helm: Ok... I guess... wait a bit.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: but i have to add you first
Helm: ok add me sundress girl
*'she' adds me*
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: let me see this picture
Helm: ok one moment searching on my hard disk
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok did you find one
Helm: yeah uploading
Helm:
Helm: that's me
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: why do you have that outfit on
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: do you want to see a picture of me
Helm: I have that outfit on because i'm a nerd on the internet
Helm: Sure
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ok i am really ugly
Helm: It's ok I'm desperate
Helm: I always knew fencing would get me the chicks in the end!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends: *she sent a bmp picture of something that was 1 meg. Shortly after I accepted the transfer she cancelled it.*
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends: * she tried to send me a file called ashley.wps, which I obviously did not accept. Anyone know what wps files are?*
You have failed to receive file "untitled.bmp" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam.
Helm: what's this it's not a picture
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: accept it
Helm: Oh well I guess I will! *I don't*
You have failed to receive file "Ashley.wps" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends the same file
Helm: huh why didn't it come over? I wanted to see you and we could cyber and perhaps, if you liked, talk about socialist theory??
You have failed to receive file "Ashley.wps" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam.
Helm: Damn it
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: where do you live
Helm: I live in a house
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam sends some tif file
You have failed to receive file "Scan0001.tif" from I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam:where at
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what town
Helm: Body Harvesting Factory 43
Helm: Do you want to be my special friend
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: bye
Helm: I'll take that as a no
Helm: Oh well, back to socialist theory
Helm: At least, tell me this one thing, did the fencing do anything for you?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: what fencing
Helm: ouch. you don't have to be so cruel I have a gigantic penis, you know. But I can only take so much.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: i haven't seen it so
Helm: you like penii?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: ye
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yea
Helm: YOU WHORE!!
Helm: I DONT WANT YOU TO BE MY SPECIAL FRIEND ANYMORE
Helm: YOU UGLY BITCH
Helm: FUCK YOU
Helm: GO AWAY
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: fuck you
Helm: IM GONNA BLOCK YOU NOW UNLESS YOU PROMISE TO JUST LIKE MY PENIS FROM NOW ON. WE'RE GOING STEADY, BITCH!
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: I am not ugly so
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: i like it
Helm: *JUST* MINE, RIGHT WHORE?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: I am not a whore so
Helm: man! If I only new being so assertive would work on women I'd have traded in the textbooks for some brass knuckles!
Helm: SO?
Helm: SO MANY CLIFF-HANGERS, INDIAN GIRL
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: to bad i am not indian
Helm: no you mean
Helm: i am not indian so
Helm: what's the matter, last time you saw an indian is when your grandfather bought one? BOOM GAGAAAA FIGHT THE OPRESSION MORELLO WAHWAH SOLO
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: you are a fucking nerd
Helm: I know
Helm: You saw my picture
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yea
Helm: Aren't I a complete nerd?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: yes
Helm: Tell me, honestly, do I stand any chance with girls?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: and how old are you like 18
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: no
Helm: dang
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: becasue you are to rude
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: are you 18
Helm: oh so the hasselhoff picture on the wall is ok?
Helm: I am 17 (
Helm: at least I think that's how old One and Only is.
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: where are you from
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: like kansas
Helm: Why do you need to know such sensitive information, indian girl?
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: fuck you i am not indian nice try
Helm: OH SNAP
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: my man is here i will talk to you later peace out
Helm: OK PEACE OUT INDIAN GIRL
I wish we could go back to the old Ashley and Adam: FUCK U
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