Dude, where's my ranch dip?

[ThisIsWitty]

Those crazy americans also carry packets of powdered ranch dip mix.

The only powdered or remotely powdered salad dressing I've ever even heard of is Italian. Ranch sounds like it would turn out nasty if it were to be reconstituted. Lumpy-like.

they look at me like I just asked where they kept the square watermelons.

I have, however seen those. Especially towards the middle of summer. People get crazy with thier produce around that time of year.

I've also noticed that only certain parts of north america now carry the "baggies" of milk that you snip open the corner of and put in a jug.

I'm guessing you mean powdered milk, too? What the fuck is it with you and powdered shit. It can't save THAT much money.

The more south you go the more likey you are to be shot for asking for clamato juice. What in the great holy hell else would you use to make a ceasar with? tomato juice? that a bloody MARY, you pickup truck driving, tobacco spitting, black people hating mother fucker!

Clamato juice? What the hell is that shit? Whats a ceasar?! Something to do with a bloody mary? Do explain these crazy Canadian traditions.

Canada and America should be the two countries that carry the exact same shit ALL the time, EVERYWHERE, for the EXACT same price.

Why not just combine all industries into one and place one of these super-stores in each neighborhood?