What did you GIVE for Christmas

[mburbank]

My wife: A round vynal Ballet Box from the sixties. She always wanted one and was too poor to have ballet class, let alone a friggin box. And a bride and groom cake topper from the 1930's and some hysterical 'handicappable' dolls (A teenage white girl with an eyepatch and an adult African American man with leg and arm braces, both of the smiling inanely), a little book explaining Kwanza, a few antique dolls (including two original 'little kittles') and some books.

My Kids: The wife takes care of that crap.

All our friends: The wife takes care of that crap.

My Brother: A TOTALLY GAY dragon T-shirt because he's older than me, is a buerocrat, no one else would buy him shit like that and I've already bught him every album Meatloaf ever released.

All the rest of my family: The wife takes care of that.

Me: A totally unused Morticians make up kit, complete with something called 'wound filler'.