I'm a fucking lardass :(

[The One and Only...]

Cut carbs and fat; eat high in protein. Forget about calories, just look at the percentages of those three things.

Exercise, and strength train. Although weight loss can effectively be done by diet alone, you'll keep a better tone in the end and may be able to convert some of the fat into muscle. I wish I had done this when I lost my weight... I'm strength training now, and never felt better.

Skim milk = GOD. For maximum results, drink at least a gallon of skim milk in around 3 days. Look at which brand you get, too. The best kinds have around 17% of your recommended protein intake per serving. Also, ignore the carbs in skim milk. The scientifically-shown benefits of the drink to weight loss more than compensate for it.

Kashi Lean Crunch is a fantastic cereal. It provides high protein and fiber, making it filling but also low in sugars and fat (no saturated fat, too). Plus it gives you an opportunity to down more skim milk, which is, as afore mentioned, GOD. I would suggest incorporating it as a staple in your diet.

I know all this from experience. I lost 70 lbs. in around a year. Trust me, losing the weight is worth the effort. You'll feel better about yourself than you ever did.