The Rage Virus has taken me.

[James]

Originally Posted by kellychaos

I don't mean to horn in on you in some creepy way ... well, because I don't care all that much although this is an interesting topic ... but I'm more likely to believe that you've left huge chunks out of your story more so than any chemical imbalance or subconscious thoughts undermining your happily ever after.

She went on a vacation back home late July/Early August. My birthday is August 3rd.

She came back, didn't talk to me. Didn't wish me a belated birthday or anything (after she disregarded my birthday the year before, too). Never even said hello to me since she got back.

Started hearing about the things she did on her vacation, and the things she'd been doing since she got back. I'll admit to looking down on some of these things, but I also acknowledge it's her life to do what she wants with - for better or worse. But I decided that everything was pointing to it just being best for me to stop subjecting myself to the situation and to just wash my hands of her. So I told her to remove me from all her contacts.

There was a community of sorts that we were both a part of. Over the fall/winter, she had kind of removed herself from it, so it wasn't a big deal. But she came back within the past month or so. We've both been around at the same time, but we don't even acknowledge one another. But I figure it's best to remove myself from there, as well as ending all association with anyone who is a part of that group, due to the problems I'm having with not being able to, essentially, let go.

If there's any chunks you feel I left out that were important, I believe they're in there now. I don't know what else to tell you.

In other news, I've been spending a week or two trying to work out what to tell the friends that I'm cutting out of my life, which stirs up a lot of thoughts about this whole matter. But I'm not feeling the rage that I was being bothered by. If anything, just a sense of sadness that I have to give things up, and resentment that I feel like she "won." But I'm not angry right now, nor have I been in about a week. But that might not mean anything.