IF IT TAKES THIS LONG TO GET AN OSCAR THREAD GOING...

[Johnny Horton]

Fatty Moore was pretty much booed off the stage for his trite babbling. He's such a slob. I didn't think it was possible for a man to make a tuxedo look bad, but Fatty succeeded. Steve Martin did manage to insert a rusty dagger into the folds of fat in Moore's back, however, a quip that entirely deflated the would-be journalist's shrill pronouncement.

If Moore were truly interested in documenting history, shouldn't he be in Iraq right now? Tut tut. Don't be ridiculous. There is at least one good reason that Moore is aware of which keeps him from entering the sandy fray. It is about the size of a peanut. Each soldier carries hundreds of them, in clips and banderelos.


And as much as I hate to say it, Eminem made a good showing by not appearing at the festivities. (Although this doesn't change the fact that he is a guttersnipe hoodlum whose only dubious talent lies in his ability to lead lesser people around by the nose.)

And I must say that the Hollywood set was apparently not as stupid as I had expected them to reveal. Except for Fatty Moore (hardly a surprise) and Susie Sarandon (less of a surprise) the group of see-me's seemed almost repectful of the Bush administration's current effort to oust Saddam. This only points up their hypocrisy and their cowardice... unless, that is, they actually do change their philosophy with the wind.

All in all, this 75th presentation of the Oscars was no more or less frilly and irrelevant than the rest. I only watched to see what political missteps the see-me's would make. They obviously had been coached to keep quiet. Amazingly, they kept to the script.