THE POPE IS DEEEEEAAAAD

[Dole]

well, to all intents and purposes. At the radio station I work at we get 'news alerts' from bbc hq in london, and for the last 3 hours there has been one about every ten seconds!
He is by turns slipping out of conciousness/serene(??)/ off his mash...yadada. Jesus, the man knows how to drag it out! surely one of the cardinals could do the decent thing and just go and shout 'BOO!' in his ear. That would do it...
...how can you still be alive when your kidneys, have failed, you have had cardiac arrest, you cant eat, talk, open your eyes, think...

This is what I would like to see:

BBC - SNAPSHOT - Pope John Paul - 1055 GMT
In a bizarre and dramatic turn of events, His Holiness John Paul II was seen breakdancing by journalists inside the vatican. The Pontiff was then allegedly viewed hurling his own faeces at his vatican spokesman, shouting 'I am SUCH a bighead!'

...al the djs that are on here today are shitting themselves that he will go during their shows. Cos we have strict instructions to drop everything and go into sombre mode..

[Dole]

VATICAN CITY, April 2 (AFP) - Pope John Paul II lost
consciousness Saturday morning but is not in a coma, Vatican
spokesman Joaquin Navarro-Valls said.
gd/ec
AFP
020935 GMT APR 05

He's lost conciousness, but he is NOT in a coma, ok?? There is a BIG difference, believe me.

[FS]

I declare the pope, as of now, a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle.

[Dole]

My new book:

'Burbling fluids' - an affectionate look at the Pope's last weeks.

[Bell E. Laffs]

I just hope the pope moherse doesn't have a see through glass bubble.

[the_dudefather]

i cant wait for the pope oylmpics where they put cardinals through their paces to find out who is superhuman enough to be the new pope

[Drev]

I hope we get the black Pope.

[Rongi]

i bet they'll hook him up on machines and move his mouth around with a few wires and have some dude behind him address the people.

[ScruU2wice]

or there gonna keep him alive till sunday.. for symbolism.

[Geggy]

I feel like I'm listening to a sportscaster as they update the pope's condition every second of the minute.

"His heart rate is declining. Its at 30 bpm. Now its at 10 bpm. The heart has stopped. Its all over folks."

[Spooky]

Originally Posted by Dole

...how can you still be alive when your kidneys, have failed, you have had cardiac arrest, you cant eat, talk, open your eyes, think...

my grandfather did it for months, some people just dont want to die.

[the_dudefather]

well the pope is now officaly dead as of 7:37pm GMT.

[AChimp]

STREWTH!

[Hugh_Bristic]

Joke or not, you all are complete cunts. The fact that you show more reverence for the alleged death of Mitch Hedberg is revolting. Do not confuse this with self-righteousness.

[Emu]

The thing is, I don't think anyone but Kevin and Sethomas are Catholic, but nearly all of us are fans of stand-up.

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

Originally Posted by Hugh_Bristic

Joke or not, you all are complete cunts. The fact that you show more reverence for the alleged death of Mitch Hedberg is revolting. Do not confuse this with self-righteousness.

HEY HUGH, WHY DONT YOU SUCK MY DICK

[NOT Jixby Phillips]

WHAT A TRAGEDY THAT SOMEBODY DIED OF OLD AGE YOU STUPID BITCH I HATE YOU

[El Blanco]

I'm Catholic but I don't see why you would have to be to admire him. You didn't have to be Catholic to get his help and compassion.

And why is a second tier comedian who died quite possibly from a drug related heart attack a more sensetive issue than a man who dedicated his life to helping billions?

Honestly, make jokes about the Pope, thats what this section is here for. But don't get sand in your vaginas when people make jokes about Hedberg.

[Bell E. Laffs]

Originally Posted by Drev

I hope we get the black Pope.

I hope it's one of those child molesters.

[ArrowX]

lemme bless you boy ALL of you.

[AChimp]

Originally Posted by Hugh_Bristic

Joke or not, you all are complete cunts. The fact that you show more reverence for the alleged death of Mitch Hedberg is revolting. Do not confuse this with self-righteousness.

You must be one of the people who was standing outside all week praying and singing "stay with us," as if it's right to expect the pope to live forever.

[PYLON]

I just hope that people will start accepting this REAL quick, because im missing hte simpsons because of this, and its not much fun. he died, people die, get the fuck over it, and get homer back on t.v.

[Geggy]

I didn't realize it was insensitive to poke fun at the mass media coverage on the pope.

[Hugh_Bristic]

I never expected the Pope to live forever; I didn't sing songs or light candles or hold vigil. But I did keep all the snide comments to myself out of respect. Not respect borne of religion but respect that accompanies human decency. I'm not telling you to to praise him or hold a novena, I'm just hoping you wouldn't be such a jerk about it.

[the_dudefather]

this is i-mockery, not i-sincerity