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Geggy · #1

Yesterday in Boston, across from the North Bank Garden, a bum sitting in front of a McDonald's asked for change.

I tossed him a quarter.

"That's all?!" shouted the bum.

I reached for my pocket and scooped a handful of change. I threw the change at the defenseless homeless man and yelled "Supersize it!"

I realize I'm a bottom-dollar bastard.

Geggy · #2

This was worse than the time I offered a homeless man 50 cents if he'd zip up his pants.

He said the zipper was broken.

So I walked away without giving him the change.

AChimp · #3

That's worse than all the times I've never given a bum any change.

ziggytrix · #4

I give em cigarettes, but never money.

I bet you guys never knew I was a Nazi.

MetalMilitia · #5

I think that makes you are more likely to be gassed by a nazi not actually one.

:badjewjoke:

Matt Harty · #6

There's a group of women who feed the homeless people in a town near mine, so they don't heckle people that often.

mburbank · #7

I almost always give homeless people money on the theory that no matter what they do with it they need it more than I do and also because when I'm homeless that's what I want people to do for me.

Of course, I could save my change for when I'm homeless. But where the hell would I keep it if not at home? Change is heavy. So I guess giving it to bums, hobos and crazies is like a metaphysical a savings bank. Except uninsured. More like a karmic stock market dealing is very small amounts.

AngPur · #8

Quote:

Originally Posted by mburbank

I almost always give homeless people money on the theory that no matter what they do with it they need it more than I do and also because when I'm homeless that's what I want people to do for me.

You make it sound as though you're planning this. I only give change to those who are missing a limb. I feel they need it.

I've sadly read too many sociological journals to give money to the rest. I think by giving to a charity I can help them more with a dollar than by letting them spend it on Thunderbird.

the_dudefather · #9

i love how homeless people are your best friend until you refuse them money.

or the ones that have an elberatly threaded story full of chills, thrils and spills.

"oi, mate giff uss 20p cos like i got to get a bus home and i just got mugged so i aint got money and if i dont get back i will miss a phonecall from my boss telling we something important so if i miss it i will be in trouble and the babysitter said...."

they can go on for a while sometimes

mburbank · #10

Don't knock Thunderbird.

I'm not planning it. I just think it's a distinct possability. Of course there will be way more homeless peope then, so I have to factor in the smaller number of haves and the much greater number of have nots, so my share of the panhandling proceeds will be much smaller than what I'm passing out now. But future beggars can't be current choosers.

Charity is good too, I don't want to be exclusive. But Charity will rarely buy you Thunderbird. I'm quasi buhdist about beggars. If people beg, I give, unless I don't have anything on me in which case they're out of luck. Giving is incumbent upon me. What they do with it is incumbent upon them.

In in my potentially grim future, I may have a powerful thirst for some thunderbird.

FS · #11

I generally only see homeless people at train stations, but if they ask I usually give them money and don't really care what they'll do with it. Their life can't get much worse from my buck.

Exceptions are when they use dirty tricks, like when some guy showed me his really nasty leg infection in what was either a plead for pity or an attempt to make me try and get him out of my face real quick.

kellychaos · #12

I give points for originality. Once, while smoking outside the student center, I was asked a cigarette by a passerby. Being a reasonably well dressed sort, I thought him to be a student and not of the local Cass Avenue citizenry. We talked of philosophy, Cher (don't ask), diet and homeopathic medicine. A pleasant conversation indeed. He then asked for a couple of bucks to fill up his gas tank which had JUST ran out. A sham, no doubt but well worth the price of admission.

Thank you Max Burbank for putting a meager but altruistic dent in the universal account.

Archduke Tips · #13

I give homeless people money because I believe they appreciate my money more than I do.

And since somebody is going to say "I appreciate your money, can I have it?" I am just going to say this right now... if you live a life of poverty and suffering without any home or source of income for the next 5 years I will give you $3 too.

AngPur · #14

Quote:

Originally Posted by mburbank

I'm not planning it. I just think it's a distinct possability. Of course there will be way more homeless peope then, so I have to factor in the smaller number of haves and the much greater number of have nots, so my share of the panhandling proceeds will be much smaller than what I'm passing out now. But future beggars can't be current choosers.

Logic like this can only come from a democrat.

I guess it comes down to that old motto though 'hope for the best, prepare for the worst'.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mburbank

But Charity will rarely buy you Thunderbird.

This is soooooo siggied.

Mike P · #15

Often, when you give homeless people money, they do something nice for you. One time, I gave a homeless man about fifty cents while I was looking for a place downtown. Then he told me where the place I was trying to find was.

But then again, that did only happen once.

felix_tibs · #16

Quote:

Originally Posted by mburbank

Don't knock Thunderbird.

.

Perosnally I am a NIghtTrain man.

lordofd3struction · #17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike P

Often, when you give homeless people money, they do something nice for you. One time, I gave a homeless man about fifty cents while I was looking for a place downtown. Then he told me where the place I was trying to find was.

But then again, that did only happen once.

I gave a homeless person a dollar and he helped me find a bathroom and try to pry the doors of the public bathroom open w/ another homeless chick. I always end up spending like twenty bucks on homeless people when I'm in Seattle or San Fransisco.

AngPur · #18

If the Seattle homeless were teens, they might not have been homeless. It's big for well-off teens from the suburbs to pertend to be homeless in the city to get money and 'express themselves'. Basically a new fad. Also big in Portland.

ImAnUglyGirl · #19

I think I need a new face. Can you help me out?

Mike · #20

Being homeless in America when you still have some sanity, are of reasonable working age and still have limbs is pathetic. Try being even moderately poor in my home town of Oymyakon (well, moderate by East Russian standards) in Siberia and then come back to the US and tell me if you still feel like giving money to adults sitting on the street with their brains, hands and feet intact.

ziggytrix · #21

http://bumwine.com/

mburbank · #22

While I have no doubt that people in other countries suffer far more than people here, I'm not certain I see your point. I'm here, and if I have money in my pocket and a person in apparent need, I don't see that the greater suffering of others elsewhere should make change my behavior.

People die slowly from cancer, but a broken toe still hurts.

Matt Harty · #23

There's a nice homeless guy in our mall. He stands outside of the arcade and tells jokes. Everytime I go by he comes up to me and usually tells the same jokes but on good days you get a different one. I'm not really good at fake laughing, so I just smile and give him 50 cents.

G-Man · #24

I'm not real big on giving homeless people money. I just don't trust people. If I do give it to them I have them turn their back to me kneel down and put their hands on their head. If they really want the money they'll do it. If they give me attitude I back away from them.