A CANADIAN PERSPECTIVE

[mburbank]

I thought this piece was pretty damn funny.

-----------------------------------
A truly Canadian Apology to the USA, courtesy of Colin Mochrie from This
Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

Hello. I'm Anthony St. George on location here in Washington.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush
a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If
it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect
poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually
elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees
than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper
and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten
times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great
shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one
by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I
realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against
Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see
you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that
song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your
beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
this. Because we've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

[FS]

[kellychaos]

Originally Posted by mburbank

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note.

THAT alone is grounds for an invasion of Canada!

[Jeanette X]

Thats hilarious! Thanks for posting it!

[mburbank]

Hey, I heart Canada. Any good comedian should.

[Ronnie Raygun]

It's completely flawed and not funny.

Bush was elected.

They say Gore won the popular vote but the difference is, dead Republicans don't vote and polls aren't left open in Conservative districts until 10:00 pm like they were in downtown STL and Conservatives don't give the homeless cigarettes and Vodka to vote for them.....unlike dems.

When you factor that in. It's easy to see that Bush actually won the popular vote.

[VinceZeb]

Don't worry about it Ronnie. Max, the big Constitution scholar, understands that the popular vote does not win you an election, but the ELECTORIAL COLLEGE vote does. But he just tends to omit the Constitution when it comes to that.

Standard liberal tactic: Talk shit about the election. If bush wins in a landslide in 2004, what is the excuse then? That the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy rigged the voting booths?

[Anonymous]

If bush wins [his re-relection] in a landslide...

Just like his father did, right?

[VinceZeb]

Yes, becuase we all know that since his father lost, bush will lose to.

Idiot. That post was completely vapid and had no point, such as yourself!

[Anonymous]

You don't have to create my responses for me, you know.

[Ronnie Raygun]

There won't be a 3rd party Conservative this election.

There WILL be a 3rd party LIB though.

[Anonymous]

Suddenly, it's all in perspective.

[Ronnie Raygun]

Good.

[Protoclown]

If Bush wins by a landslide in 2004, I will be GRAVELY disappointed in our nation. But it will be undeniable that the people want him in that situation.

I'd like to think we could come up with something better. It SHOULDN'T be hard...but so far the Democraps haven't come up with anything exciting.

Clearly, more former pro-wrestlers need to run for office. Then I'd have someone I could feel good about voting for.

[VinceZeb]

If Bush or someone from the libertarian party with some sence would win, Id be proud of our country.

I may not have been old enough to remember it, but the last time our country had common sence is when Reagen got reelected in a tidal wave. 49 states to 1. That is impressive.

[Anonymous]

Why "former?"

[Daphne]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Raygun

It's completely flawed and not funny.

Bush was elected.

They say Gore won the popular vote but the difference is, dead Republicans don't vote and polls aren't left open in Conservative districts until 10:00 pm like they were in downtown STL and Conservatives don't give the homeless cigarettes and Vodka to vote for them.....unlike dems.

When you factor that in. It's easy to see that Bush actually won the popular vote.

I think YOU should be elected president of getting jokes!

[Anonymous]

He'd probably cheat

[VinceZeb]

Yes, the only place that Gore really won in MO was St. Louis. That they kept them open that late was a discrace. And wow, democrats won in places where polls were illegaly opened. Hmmmm..... seems about right for the liberals.

[Anonymous]

Because only democrats get the secret illegal poll opening notices.

[VinceZeb]

Your parody is so close to reality it isnt even funny.

[Daphne]

I think it's fantastic that you have a Hank Hill quote as a sig.

You are SO the VP of joke getting.

[mburbank]

ELECTRICAL CAW-LIDGE?! WHAT THERE'S THAT ALL?

And you're right. When you factor in that, none of those jokes are funny at all. DAMN ME! DAMN ME FOR NOT SEEING THAT!!!!!

I've said it before, I'll say it again; When folks stop giving me money to be funny and start giving it to you I'll listen to your opinion about comedy.

No, wait. I still won't.

Why? Welll if I'm talking to Ronnie, it's becuase he's pparently Black. And if I'm talking to Vincey, it's because he used to be fat and he practiced missagenation. I'm a Knee Jerk Liberal and if there's two things we hate, it's Negroes and Fattys that date Negroes.