My Written Testimony

[kahljorn]

the first day my girlfriend and I parked our chevy nova outside and across the street at our old house, the lady called the cops on it. We found a ticket saying that we had "Improper tabs", which was hilarious because we had just gotten new tags the day right before. Also, on the ticket it clearly stated that the tags on the car were 2005 under the "Comments" section. We also found a note on the car from the old bitch lady with a dyke hair cut who lives across the street saying, "I like to park in front of my house, please don't park here again -- homeowner".
That was annoying because it's a 100 dollar charge.
It's a fixable violation so we send in a copy of our registration, a note and a copy of the ticket that says "2005 tags on vehicle". They send it back saying we have to have a cops signature. Whatever.
At this point the car's inoperable, and it's parked near old dyke's house again. We get a call from our mechanic saying somebody stated they went THROUGH our car and found his number and called him, claimed he wanted to buy it and that it had a tow sticker on it and he wanted to get in touch with us. Our mechanic refused, and left us a message.
So anyway, somehow the mechanic gets in touch with him again, and he says, "oh, don't worry i found their number and got in touch with them" which is a lie. So we come to find out the car was towed that day, this is something like a week after he got in touch with the mechanic.
It was towed because it's "Ugly". Seriously, did you know you can have cars towed for that? So it gets impounded, and we have to pay for it to get towed and all this shit. 200 dollars because of old dykey. Yes, the culprit was old dykey.
We mentioned to the cops(secretary) that she had gone through our car and the cop said she tried to get in touch with us but couldn't(she talked to the landlord at our old place), which is even more hilarious because our phone numbers exactly the same and we literally live within 3 minutes walking distance of our old place.
So, back to the original story.
We get this letter saying we need to have a police officer sign off that we have the right tags, our car's inoperable and they told us we could have a police technician come out and sign off. So we try to get someone to come out, and they say they don't do that. So we ask what we can do, and the asshole cop says, "I suggest you get it operable". Yea, I have 5,000 dollars to get a new engine for it so i can avoid your bullshit parking ticket.
In the end we said fuck the ticket, and if they ever take us to court we'll just ask them to look at the ticket. It's such bullshit that they can assign a fake ticket that may as well say fake in bolded red letters and still make us jump through hoops for them.
Also, the law that cars can't be ugly and parked on the street is bullshit.
Dykey will get hers though.