What just happeend to me?

[george]

you prolly have HIV and will die before you can get pumped full of that miracle crocodile blood that would have saved your life if it had been available for use in humans just fifteen minutes sooner.

and if you do have some long term thing, just tell your wife you are going to the doctor on a regular basis in preperation to having surgery to get the BIGGEST PENIS EVER. that should keep her around at least long enough to see if getting poked for thirty seconds by a giant penis is any more satisfying than getting poked by a little penis for thirty seconds.