Calling Christmas by Its Name

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If you don't let the Christians have Christmas they're going to take away all the Queer peoples bank loans. Everyone needs to back up off each others lawns.

On behalf of Jews everywhere, I'd just like to say we love your Christmas cookies, and a good Christmas dinner. We also like it when you climb up on your rooftops in cold weather and string up those dime store lights. The Carolling...not so much.