It took me a year long sabatical from men to reflect upon my motives for being in a relationship. After this reflection, I found out my prime motive was "avoidance." It turned out to be avoiding the things that hurt me the most or bothered me. It was far easier to mask my unhappiness and focus on anything other than what was going on in my life.
Don't look to men or
anything to ease the pain. You need to deal with what is going on inside of you and what makes you seek out others to avoid that time that needs to be reflected upon yourself.
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