I recommend you read my poem

[Blasted Child]

The enjambments themselves are not a major issue to me - that's a pretty established means of controlling pauses in all poetry.
However, the poem is a bit too uncontrolled as a whole. There is no tangiable meter or form; definitely no conventional meter, nor any self-invented rythm that recurs through the stanzas to give a sense of connection above the level of semantics.

Free verse is common nowadays, but unless you've already written heaps of strict meter poetry, it's best to start out there to control the language.
Measure the syllables and beats and try to work out a pattern.