nintendo revolution name change

[Ruk]

From my journal:

Nintendo. Guys. Listen just a second, okay? Your competitors (and yes, they ARE your competitors, despite what your pitch-man Reggie Fils-Aime says) Sony and Microsoft have chosen respectable names for their next-generation consoles--the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360, respectively. Your new home console was code-named "Revolution," for good reason. As details began to trickle out about the system (a TV remote-style motion-sensitive controller, the ability to play titles from every generation of Nintendo's existence, a smaller price tag than the competitors, Nintendo's exclusive franchises, etc.), we got behind the name. Revolution. The damn thing was going to be an entirely new video game experience, even accessible and unintimidating to non video-game players.

We knew the code name might not be the system's final moniker, but the Nintendo DS, which was released only 2 years ago, stuck with that code name from the early stages all the way up until its final release, and is still called the DS to this day. We hoped. We hoped that something called the "Revolution" could generate enough excitement simply through the name to decimate the competition in the next generation. Nintendo has been slipping in the console business for the past few years, mostly due to scant third-party support. The GameCube is now available for only $99 in stores--it's a wonderful system, to be sure, with some great games, but nowhere near the library of the PS2 or Xbox. We hoped the Revolution would come and change all that.

And then, for some dumb reason, you changed the name. You stupid bastards. The new name is...

The Nintendo "Wii."

WHAT?!

You know, just when I thought Nintendo's frilly talk about accessible gaming, unique direction, and "new generation" console might not be comprised entirely of sunshine, candy, and unicorn farts, I get this. I had huge hopes for Nintendo in the next generation--I thought they might even crawl up to be king of the console hill once more, as in days of old. But dear God, did my hopes ever take a hit when I heard this name. When I think "Wii," I don't think of awesome video games, togetherness, or even fun. In this order, I think of: urine, Mini-Me, the mayor of Munchkinland, and babies.

You think it was hard to get non-gamers to play your system when you had a name like "GameCube"? It's gonna be nearly impossible for them to take you seriously with a name like "Wii." What's in a name? The life or death of your next console, Nintendo. Mark my words.