I have loved Superman since I was 2 years old and I think what they've done to him recently sucks. Forgetting about how much his comics have sucked since he turned into PlasMan (my name for the energy/plasma dealy he turned into) then split into Red Superman and Blue Superman (aptly played by Bill Paxton and Bill Pullman, respectively), he has...
*Been given subpar powers in the Justice League cartoon, to where now he can be knocked across a city block by a boulder thrown by a character of less strength.
*Been marketed to the point where his symbol has truly no meaning besides a fashion label.
*Lost all relevance in the Infinite Crisis crapfest, but then again every superhero has.
*Turned into a whiny angsty brat on Smallville.
*Been the subject of a Five for Fighting song. *shudder*
*Gotten drunk, thought he really WAS Superman, and jumped out a window, or at least in the urban legends.
*Fallen off a horse, been paralyzed and died, and is remembered as a hero for that and not for the Super things he did. Why is he a hero? Because he's disabled!
*Become a lame bit part actor and host of Ripley's Believe It Or Not!
*Become a victim of computer doctoring to make his schlong bulge smaller in the new movie - if anything Superman should have the biggest dingaling thanks to his Kryptonian greatness.
*Not been the subject of anything like "I'm the goddamned Batman" or "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch".
And now this:
Is there no respect for the Man of Steel? Are his glory days finally over? Frank Miller's treatment of Superman in this series is the final insult. Now not only does Superman not fly (probably done for historical reasons, but still, why?), he has no sense of time, he reads the paper that HE WRITES FOR and gets surprised, he gets angry at milk, he burns the paper with his heat vision and breaks his glasses in the process, and can't even get out of the way of a stupid boat. Kal-El is smarter than that. I really hope they retcon his story into something awesome again, or else I'll have to re-read all of my golden age comics AGAIN. That is, if I can find all the pages again and re-staple them. There goes the millions of dollars I dreamed of as a child...
At least Lois Lane is now a desperate housewife. Or at least one of them is, the other's still insane.
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