Hi I'm MattJack and I'm new 'round these parts. I'll do my best to help you out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy77
A new girl started at my job this week. We'd been chatting and joking and I was definitely getting the impression she might be into me.
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First of all, where do you work? I'm sensing some fast food, possibly a Target? Either way, chatting and joking is the first step to making a woman love you. You can replace this step with alcohol or lotion. Bitches love lotion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy77
So tonight as we were both heading to our cars she intercepts me and leans in and we kiss. We continue kissing for what seemed like five minutes (I wasn't keeping track), she kept wanting more.
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I see step one was a "Mission Accomplished." Your joking and chatting must be very superior to the average man's indeed. See next though is where you went wrong. You must
always time the kiss. It is pretty much a cardinal rule. Every guy I know has a phone, watch, or some device that doubles as a stop watch. Why is that? Ah it's all coming together for you now, huh?
How did you know she kept wanting more really? Sometimes people have really good gum or just a warm mouth to take comfort in. I've personally made out with tons of girls because they have that delicious Zebra Gum. Bitches love Zebra Gum.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy77
Now as this went on my instincts took over and the ability for rational thought went out the window. Basically at one point I firmly squeezed her backside, she didn't seem to object, and after we were done for the time being I took my blue balls and went home.
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You really are a maniac man. I can't
believe you had the
balls to actually squeeze her backside. I must say,
you really did throw your rational thought out the window. You must be a dangerous/gambling man huh? Cool. Me too.
Blue balls from making out? Either her name is Natalie Portman or you are simply a man of action. I will assume the latter. Obviously, you were ready to give her some man. Bitches love some man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leroy77
I have begun thinking that maybe the butt grabbing thing was too much, too soon. So I ask all of you (especially girls, but guys too): Did I fuck up? Or am I just being paranoid?
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Why would you think such things?! You did some obvious salty pimping and now you just bein a lil bitch. I say yes: You did fuck up. You didn't put your foot on the gas hard enough. Bitches love the foot on the gas.
You should have just went for the gold right there, don't you keep condoms on you
for that exact situation? Jesus(tap dancing)Christ. I mean if I had a taco for every time that exact thing happened to me! Tomorrow you go into work, eyes on fire with passion, and take her to the nearest public restroom. Bitches love makin love in the public restroom.