Cosmo and Terra's foreplay ( and eventual coitus) thread

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Okay, Baby...let's do this

[Terra]

i can't believe you did this baby.

okay your nipple in my mouth or my nipple in yours?

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I think your nipple in my mouth...I have this uncontrollable oral fixation...at least I do now.

[Terra]

okay

my nipple in your mouth, a box of matches for the other nipple, and napalm for the bush area.

the low spark of high heel boys playing in the bacjground

[Cosmo Electrolux]

I like Traffic...

sounds like a cure for crabs...shave half of your bush, set the other half on fire, and stab the bastards with an ice pick when they run across..

[Terra]

bullets are more effective. messy but effective.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

bullets are indeed messy, and tend to leave marks. If there are makes to be made, I would prefer that they were made by my teeth.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

okay....first, I'll rub you down with either massage oil or Mazola so that when I lick your tits, my spit will bead up like raindrops on a freshly waxed Bentley. Then, I'll put down a plastic drop cloth so that the napalm doesn't stick to the hard wood floors, and melt some wax so I can affix the matches to your flesh and weave them into your bush (the half we didn't shave off). Then, as the soundtrack to "Footloose" drones in the background, we'll reenact the "fire-love" scene from Wickerman, then run burning into the hot tub, which I've filed with potato salad.

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Then, after the burns have healed, we'll share a glass of Merlot, and engage in some light conversation, share some fruit and cheese, maybe take in a play.....then it's back to your place where I'll tie you up with your own stockings and re-enact yet another movie scene....this time, the "pounding Wilbur's bacon" scene from Charlottes Web.

[Terra]

then can we have cheesecake, hot dogs and melted drywall??

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by Terra

then can we have cheesecake, hot dogs and melted drywall??

we can have HotDog Cheesecake smothered in drywall

[Cosmo Electrolux]

okay, I have it. The weather here is pretty stormy right now (95 MPH winds), so I'll have to make this quick.
Terra: dressed in a penguin costume covered in bleu cheese dressing
Cosmo: carrying a bucket of ice, a pair of salad tongs, and a bottle of anbesol.

the soundtrack? The Magic Flute...played entirely on a kazoo

[Cosmo Electrolux]

oh, shit..here comes the rain. The dogs are going apeshit...and I'm almost out of wine.

one more...then that's it for right now..

Me: Dressed as a conquistador , armed with a bottle of amyl nitrate and a half eaten potted meat sandwich

You: dressed seductively, in garters, stockings, a silky robe, smelling of pulled pork and rancid cole slaw.

the kid playing banjo in "deliverance" narrates the symphony of our desires...and provides the musical interlude.

[James]

adsfasdfasd

[Terra]

it'll get better once we start slinging the sour cream and hog mash

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by James

This is the worst session of Dungeons & Dragons I've ever seen.

I will flay and stuff your fat ass if you step foot in here again. This is an uncomfortable thread (Chojin's description) that I started to relieve Terra of her underwear and to get my nostrils wrapped around her crotch, and I will thank you to keep your "poor me, I can't get a girlfriend" ass out of here, capiche?

You're gonna fucking jinx my mojo

[James]

sdafasdsasfd

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by James

You're right, Cosmo. Congratulations on your relationship with Terra. Hopefully soon you'll be able to go where everyone else has already gone before and the two of you will live happily ever after until the attention you give her stops being enough and she leaps to the next guy who calls her a cunt.

Now make a saving throw because YOU JUST TRIGGER A SPIKE TRAP!

you really need to get laid James. No, really.

This is a message board, not real life.

[James]

asdfsadfsadfasd

[James]

asdfasdfasdfsa

[Cosmo Electrolux]

you're pathetic, James. I mean that.

And, the thought of you what a woman is what educated people call a work of fiction. Grow up.

[Chojin]

Chaotic Neutral Elvish Bard, named S'laddivish Moonprowl.

I tip my jaunty hat at Barak and smile a knowing smile.

[Schimid]

Lawful Good Orc Undead Cleric, known as Horancious Tearfall.

I gaily prance towards Thuzzuul and take a most chivalrous bow!

[Chojin]

I stagger back in shock at Horancious' arrival and stammer uncontrollably:

A M-m-m-m-monster!

I then raise my enchanted flute to my lips and play the sonnet of sleep.

[Schimid]

Saving throw versus sleep!

*rolls a 20 and becomes extra awake*

I respond with laughter and more prancing. I turn my attention towards S'laddivish and humbly pronounce:

Oh, I am no monster! I be Horancious Tearfall, protector of the innocent!

I reach into my pack and retrieve a Lost Dagger of Y'ellthazor. I throw it at S'laddivish, in the hopes that he will catch it!