1 time when i was little my dad ran over a kitten, and it got all thrown up & twisted into the blade, and then he tried to say it "crawled into the lawnmower before i started it"
jesus keeryst, farty! you're not mowing a lawn. you're bush hogging. how high is that gawdamned grass???? i mow lawns too but that shit must be knee high and in serious need of a bushhog.
next time toss out a bunch of gawdamned firecrackers before you mount a mower and give the lil fuckers a running chance.
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