NEW SHORT: "NINTENDO GAMES THAT NEARLY DROVE ME TO HOMICIDE!"

[Chojin]

I'm still on level 6-2 of Ninja Gaiden on the VC for my Wii ;< There's this EXACT PATTERN you have to follow to beat each floor, and if you EVER, EVER move the screen too much in one direction while you're doing it, the game will punish you by spawning an endless supply of birds and football players to bash you off of the little platforms you spend the entirety of the game standing on.

So far I'm able to pretty consistantly get past floors 1, 2, and 3 (on floor 2, there's a jump where I have to purposefully fall into a pit so that an eagle will appear and smack me hard enough to land me on the other side), but floor 4 is I SWEAR TO GOD IMPOSSIBLE unless AND ONLY UNLESS you still have the ninja stars left over from floor 2, cause there's this part where you have to jump over a bat, run from a football player, jump the football player, jump an eagle that swoops at you, run forward, fire a ninja star, QUICKLY jump to avoid another bat from the left, jump forward to land on the platform of the cross-thrower that the star killed... and I've never been able to do that right so I don't know what's past that ;< Ninja Gaiden is also delightfully fond of making you fly in whichever direction means your death when you get hit, and also of choosing the best possible moments to either have your special item not fire or to have your sword magically phase through enemies. I don't understand why you even have a life meter, since you only meet your tragic end from falling into bottomless pits.

Slightly less annoying for some reason is Kid Icarus, and I finally got to stage 2 today ;< Who thought it would be a good idea to only give you one life to live for your country?