True Bedroom Stories (Virgins come take notes)

[Cosmo Electrolux]

Originally Posted by glowbelly

some lame fuck had the nerve to spit on my girly parts for lube and i threw him the hell out.

you do not spit on a girl's girly parts.

i scared a dude out of screwing me by pulling out a 8" curved knife with super sharp spikes on the handle from under my pillow.

ummm, ummmm, when i was in labor, i had to pee in to a toilet that had a seive type strainer thing in the bowl and when i wiped this giant 3 foot long, 2 inch wide brown-green booger came out of my crotch. it's called a mucous plug and it's the most disgusting thing you men will ever see come out of your woman ever. EVER.

my two children were both c-sections, so I never experienced the mucous plug.

[boshobosho]

Well I'll toss one in.
In college I was seeing a girl for awhile. Normal sex, no biggie. But one night she comes to my dorm drunk as hell and we end up having sex. She's riding me while we're sitting up, and I suddenly feel a gushing from between her legs. I throw her off of me, onto the floor and shout "YOU PISSED ON ME!" so loud the whole dorm could hear, and I did figure it was piss because she was drunk. Apparently she'd just had a female ejaculation which she had learned how to have from that sex show that old lady hosted on Lifetime.
She was real embarassed when she had to walk out though, people figuring she'd peed.