Oh god the internet you're so big I can't handle it you're out of control

[CaptainBubba]

Magreaux there is actually one way to use your home-ownership to get a female to let you enter her, and as far as I know only one way. Here is what you have to do and you'll be so pleased to hear just how easy it is!

Form a covenant with the dark lord Satan and offer him your house as a brooding den for the drooling minions of hell which will rise forth from the pools of filth that will fill every inch of your floor wall and ceiling. As the vile monstrosities tear through the walls dripping with menstrual blood so dark that it blots out all light, go to a bar and find a fat ugly woman and have sex with her in a taxi.