I thought his problem was no one liked him. I guess that's not as major as him nerdy computer needs. Robo, are you sure the problem is no one likes you?
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?