i am so fucking hungry

[McClain]

True story.

Prior to getting my wisdom teeth removed they gave me percocet and then shot me with Novocaine. Not pleasant. A few minutes later the doc started crunching away at my teeth and it hurt. The dental technician told me that they'd wait a half hour for the medication to start working before the Doctor commenced to mangle my mouth. I swear to god it wasn't even 10 minutes and he started in.
I felt the bones cracking and my eyes started watering and it hurt like Horrible Fuck! Because my mouth was propped open with some sort of device, I couldn't really talk... So I started moaning "Aaaahhhhh! OOOoooaaaah!"
The doctor removed his vice grip from my tooth and somberly stated, and I quote, "Now, when you make that sound it makes me think I'm hurting you, so please don't make that sound anymore. Okay?" Then he went right back to the cracking.
Again, I chimed in out of pure instinct, "AAAAAHHHHHH!" He must not have seen my winced eyes pinching out tears of pain.
He sighed and stopped again. "What's wrong?" I started to mumble. He said, "Does it hurt?" I nodded slightly.
He grabbed the needle and injected me with more Novocaine, but he dripped what seemed to be a gallon of that shit on my tongue. If anyone has had this happen you can relate to the feeling: It's as if someone hooked your tongue up to a car battery. It's really bad.

That's all.

Oh, and for the next day my lower lip felt like a giant piece of slimy salami. I was stricken to apple sauce and pudding, none of which managed to actually make its way in my mouth. - which was completely unbeknownst to me. I even bit in to my lip and was bleeding like a stuck pig and I had no clue 'cause I couldn't feel a thing. My roommates decided not to tell me I was bleeding all over myself because they thought it was funny.