happiness is elusive ..

[Fat_Hippo]

I think I'm happy, though I'm not really sure. Sometimes, in private moments...I just don't know who I am...I usually just push it aside, but somtimes I just don't know.
It seems like I always act how people expect me too, and usually that works, but it does leave me in an identity crisis...ah well, fuck it. I'm happy when I'm not thinking about who I am or something really shitty just happened, which is most of the time, so I've gotta stop thinking so much.
I'm just gonna have to try to hold my shit together over the next few months, and stay away from bad influences: In 2 months I'm turning 16, which means I will be able to legally buy alcohol, and in 2 months I will also be discovering wether I can pass into the next grade without a test, which would mean, that as long as my worst 3 grades hold a certain minimum, my grades won't count for shit. So I can't let myself go on a 4-month drinking binge, though I generally consider myself smart enough to resist tempatation, but who knows.
Enough whining, who else has got problems?