I Hate You, Pig People.

[Sethomas]

I just realized that I don't think I've ever had a truly French "haute cuisine" experience.

Maybe I did when I went on a cruise in 1999, but I couldn't have appreciated it at the time beyond just being like, "oh, I guess this is what caviar tastes like". I mean, I lived for a month in France. I regularly drank coffee and maybe got a sandwich at two of the most famous restaurants in the world, which happen to be across the street from one another. But no, I never spent $90 on a single meal just to say I did so.

I did spend about $30 on a glass of Dom Pérignon, but some things are essential, okay?