Weekly Movie Review: Diary Of The Dead

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Just like the guy in Dead Alive who kicked ass for the Lord, unconventional zombie fighters are always the most awesome.

I want to see a montage of Samuel doing his Amish zombie fight training in an Amish zombie fighting dojo.

We need to get back to the slow-moving, ever-creeping zombies. Those were cool. Sure, you could run away from 'em. You could kill 'em easily, often in very creative and fun ways. But over time the fun always wore off, and you'd be swamped with fucking zombies everywhere. Slow as they moved, there were always just more, more more. That's why they were so fucking scary. They didn't startle you, they didn't surprise you, they just didn't stop and didn't leave you alone. That's what made 'em scary: just when you thought you were king of the fucking zombies, some slow-moving, half-rotted security guard would bite your shoulder, and you were fucked.