CAFE MOMENTS

[Mockery]

So, as part of my ongoing effort to get the hell out of my house more often, I'm working on my laptop in a cafe today. As a result, I thought I would start sharing some of the interesting things I've overheard:

1) A guy came in here and asked for a job application. Then, when the manager wasn't looking, he leaned over to me and asked, "Say, what's the name of this place anyway?"

2) They sent their new dishwasher out to buy some soap to clean the dishes with. Keep in mind, they wash all their dishes by hand here because they don't have an automatic dishwasher. If they did, he'd probably be out of a job. Anyway, he bought some Cascade dishwasher soap and didn't understand why they wanted him to bring it back. Seeing people argue about the differences in soap for 5 minutes straight is a treat.

That's all so far, but I'll be sure to start posting threads like this more often when I happen to be in a cafe and see or hear something interesting.

[Mr.Hoopla]

I think that barista is a fun word. c'mon say it, you'll like it.

barista.

[JediScum]

I have used the word "barista" in the past, and "have been looked at like a dog that's been shown a card trick".

Uhh... the general populace at cafes, look at you weird if you bus your own table. Even weirder, if you bus other tables, from people who have already left.

[Sethomas]

I'm a two-time barista and my eavesdroppings (hahahahahahahahaha) have been pretty unremarkable. A while ago I remembered a cafeteria moment when I overheard this:

"Ever notice that we call our Women Studies department 'Gender Studies' just to keep people from complaining that we don't have a Men Studies department?"
-"Actually, we DO have a Men Studies department, but we call it 'History'"

[Otto]

I've never really heard anything really outlandish or weird, just really stupid shit. Like an elderly woman who was wondering why we "can't just print some more money, to fix the economy."

[Sethomas]

As my old campus had many, many coffee shops, each had their own reputation (except where I worked, because it was new and in a stupid location). The snootiest was in the Divinity School, although it was the most useful because it had a better variety of local restaurant entrees to take on-the-go. As a religion scholar, I loved the weird esoteric titles they gave their menu items. "Dark Roast of the Soul" and "Diet of Worms" are the only ones I can remember now, though.

It was somewhere between a cafe and a restaurant, but one of my favorite eateries in THE WORLD was a place in Berlin (Kreuzberg) called Hannibal. Not "Cafe Hannibal" or something like that, just the Punic name by itself. It was really fun because at the hostel where I asked where to find it, the guy in charge tried to act all snooty to the American tourist I was about his superior European knowledge of Roman history and I TOTALLY SCHOOLED him about the nuances of the Punic Wars.

[Mr.Italiano]

I used to work in a lucrative and very popular cafe and I have a few good ones on that experience(I only worked there for 3 months, so you can understand the sheer horror of the place) 1) A lady said I looked Mexican, I said I was Italian but she insisted that I was Mexican and drove away. 2) A guy once drove through the drive-thru while towing a big ass boat 3)A girl asked me what's in a mocha coffee(uhh, MOCHA?!?!). I think I only lasted 3 months there because people who worked there and went there to get their coffee were too snobby.

[Asila]

Originally Posted by Sethomas

I'm a two-time barista and my eavesdroppings (hahahahahahahahaha) have been pretty unremarkable. A while ago I remembered a cafeteria moment when I overheard this:

"Ever notice that we call our Women Studies department 'Gender Studies' just to keep people from complaining that we don't have a Men Studies department?"
-"Actually, we DO have a Men Studies department, but we call it 'History'"

I actually had my Women's Studies prof. use that joke on the first day of class, and then a couple of the people who were in the program explained to the rest of us about how all men were out to rape all women, in one way or another. The four guys who had elected to take the class squirmed around. I don't recall doing very well, grades-wise.

I worked as a barista while I was pregnant with my daughter, and ignoring the fact that working around coffee while you cannot drink coffee is a good way to drive yourself bonkers, apparently being pregnant is some form of communicable disease, the way that people would get uncomfortable about it. Seriously uncomfortable, asking me when I due and suggesting that maybe I should go out on maternity leave or something.

[Chojin]

Maybe they were afraid your water would break into their mocha.

Also, I hate feminists more than I hate the terrorists from other countries.

[Asila]

Or that I would go into labour right in the middle of making their coffee-flavoured beverage and spill it, thus depriving them of coffee-flavoured beverages. Or lactate all over the espresso bar.

Attending a women's studies class--something I was advised to do by a counselor that I had trusted--did not help with my preconceived notion that all feminists are batshit insane. Either that or it has something to do with an increase in facial piercings badabing liberal arts school joke.

[Sacks]

THIS THREAD IS GETTING HOT HOT HOT!

[Protoclown]

CAFES ARE FOR DOUCHE BAGS

[Phoenix Gamma]

I want to buy a Mac, sit in a cafe, and write a book. I think I'd look really important. Then I can order shit like Grande Moca Lattes and talk about Broadway or something.

[Sacks]

I want to sit in the alley with Proto. Then we can drink out of brown bags and talk about broads or something.

[Mr.Italiano]

Originally Posted by Sacks

I want to sit in the alley with Proto. Then we can drink out of brown bags and talk about broads or something.

Actually sacks here in Italy they serve booze in the cafe' so your dream date with proto is only half done!

[T-Rex]

Originally Posted by Mr.Italiano

Actually sacks here in Italy they serve booze in the cafe' so your dream date with proto is only half done!

Prove it!

[Adarg]

Barista.

I'll admit, it does roll off the tongue rather nicely.

[Girl Drink Drunk]

[Sacks]

All class.

[Girl Drink Drunk]

Just what this thread needed.

[pac-man]

[MetalMilitia]

Nothing funny has ever happened in a cafe as far as I know.

[Sacks]

..and then it was revealed MetalMilitia had never seen the antics of Jack Lemmon in Irma La Douce.

[RaNkeri]

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

Nothing funny has ever happened in a cafe as far as I know.

Same here.

But in cafe's bathrooms, now that's where all the action takes place!

[pac-man]

If you're Larry Craig.