Make him sign a picture of him from another movie he did.
He was in a movie called Zombie Nightmare that got spoofed on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Never seen the movie or the episode, but if you could find a DVD of either that'd be a fun piece of schlok to have him sign.
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...I proved, son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain't got what it takes anymore! You sit there, and you thump your bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! Talk about your psalms, talk about John 3:16; Austin 3:16 says, "I just whipped your ass!"
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