Anyone know a good joke?

[DALI-II]

Two drunks walk into a bar. You think one of them might have ducked.

[Jeanette X]

President Bush is in the White House late one night, agonizing about what to do for the country.

"Oh, if only I knew what to do for the good of the country!" he laments.

Suddenly, the ghost Lyndon Johnson appears, and says:

"Don't make the mistakes I made in Vietnam! Pull out of Iraq!"

Johnson's ghost then dissapears.

The president doesn't like this answer, and again he says:

"Oh, if only I knew what to do for the good of the country!"

Suddenly, the ghost of James Monroe appears, and says:

"You must repeal the unconstitutional parts of the Patriot Act!"

Monroe's ghost then dissapears.

The president doesn't like this answer either, and again he says:

"Oh, if only I knew what to do for the good of the country!"

Suddenly, the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears, and says:

"You know, you've been under a lot of stress. Why don't you take a night off and see a play?"