Who else here is unemployed?

[McClain]

I took a job with Sallie Mae a couple years ago doing web design. I was employed by an IT placement agency and I was managed by Sallie Mae, however, the work I was doing was for a subsidiary company called USA Funds. It was an interesting situation... in that none of the three entities effectively communicated about my role. While USA Funds was pleased with the design work I was doing, my Sallie Mae supervisor thought otherwise. Which is ironic because the man couldn't tell good design from balls on his forehead.

I got called in to the office at about my 5 month mark and I saw an HR rep sitting there. I knew I was either getting permanently hired in to Sallie Mae or fired.

It was the latter.

I moved away from Indianapolis and back home and immediately got a job doing web design for a private insurance company. My wife worked there, too, which is how I found out about the job. It was a mixed blessing; saved money on gas but couldn't seem to get away from eachother. During the initial interview process I sold myself primarily as a web designer with the ability to do some development work. I put extra emphasis on the "designer" skill. I didn't want to get consideration as a developer.

My tenure with this company was spent doing development and analysis of internal database bullshit. You know that line from Office Space?

"I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work."

That was me. I'd receive a project, and because I knew that it was the only work I was going to be given (in spite of me asking for more) I had to stretch what otherwise could have been done in a day in to a week-long task. The rest of my time was spent pretending I was busy, trolling forums and browsing the web through proxy's because the filters the company had in place were stringent. I'd take trips to the supply closet to see if they had any new types of pens I could pilfer. I would take naps in the bathroom; sitting in a stall with my chin rested on my hands.

We had absolutely NO customer interaction, yet male employees were forced to wear ties and women had to wear dresses and PANTY HOSE. I swear to god this is true. I complained about the assinine nature of these regulations every chance I got. Most people there were generally undertasked as I was, but the compensation was so friggin' sweet that they opted to coast through their employment. It was burning a hole in my soul.

When I'd ask for more work my supervisor would tell me he didn't have anything at the moment, but now would be a good time for me to teach myself more about some shitty developer tool I gave two shits about. Shit.

When it came time for my review I got marks so low that it actually gave me a laugh. I had a very successful 8-year-career in the Navy, acheiving high marks, advancing first among my peers, and having made a name for myself within our community. Here? I was merely clocking in and out. And when it came time for them to actually fire me (reason: my job wasn't mutually beneficial to either party) it took them 20 minutes to muster up the courage to actually say the words. I looked across the table at my boss and his hands were actually trembling. His eye contact was intermittent and he was excessively fidgety.

I was fuckin' Cool Hand Luke. I had to comfort them and tell them it was okay. The sighs of relief were audible. My heart should have been pumping (FIRED TWICE IN ONE YEAR? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?) but instead they were the nervous wrecks.

Before this final meeting I had already accepted my fate and was actually looking forward to being let go. The job was a waste of my time and skills, but it paid well. I opted to let them fire me so I could collect unemployment. I have pride, but not that much.

After that job I spent 5 months looking for work. I had the self-satisfaction of a hot gym sock and similar motivation. I was a bit hesitant to get back in to web design after the previous two experiences... not to mention there's not much of a market for this line of work where I live. I was very picky and while I could have gotten back in to work in a short time doing something I had no interest in, I opted to wait it out and hope for something interesting.

I got lucky and landed the job I'm in now, but there are times I wonder if I'm on the right career path. I'm closing in on 30, I'm married with two kids and a mortgage... At what point am I supposed to figure this shit out?

/fin

TLDR version: Got fired. Got hired. Got fired again. Got guarded. Got rewarded. Got iffy.