The Halloween Grab Bag: How To Really Survive A Horror Movie

[autodidact]

-Don't be 'The Slut' of the group.
-Don't pick up hitchhikers.
-Don't run out of gas or get flat tires.
-That's not the sound of a branch scraping up against the house.
-Don't know what it is? Don't run up to it and touch it. Curiosity killed that cat and it will get you too.
-Hit or run over something with your car? Keep driving, use the mirrors to look back, that's what they're for.
-The first person you think could possibly help you? They can't. They're already dead at the second their name entered your mind.
-Evil death-bringers can teleport. Just cause every time you see them they're shambling along doesn't mean they won't be where you least expected them to be.
-Disbelief and ridiculing old legends will get you killed. Usually as you speak the words, 'That old lady is crazy. Only an idiot would believe in the...Oh Shit'.