The Santa/Jesus Variations

[MockBot]

Automatically generated comment thread for The Santa/Jesus Variations.

[Purple Man]

Number 9 FTW.

[homor]

NUTCRACKER!

[wobzire]

Thank you Max that was all I wanted for christmas. Hahaha. Seriously that was funny. Never stop.

[Dimnos]

Ha Ha! Nice one Max.

[chemquat]

i love how mr. burbank combines "hilarious" and "depressing" into such wonderful pieces!

[Mental Pooperscooper]

IX-if Santa is Luke than is the Easter Bunny the Emporer?
In any case V is easily my favorite

[squirrel_dave]

Personally I don't think this article is meant to be funny - I think it elicits a great deal of pathos, in particular the variations containing dialogue between Jesus and Santa. It also reminds us of what a good writer Mr. Burbank is, and makes me glad to have him back and writing articles. Excellent use of Roman numerals too!

[Colonel Flagg]

I agree, it's good to have Max back, writing articles again. And I respectfully disagree, this piece is meant to be funny. Gary Busey thinks so, at any rate.

[Protoclown]

That was beautiful.

[Kitsunexus]

Haha, that was a kickass read!:3

[greenimp]

very dark humor, i love it!

[El Sammo]

Max, darling, you make me weep. On the philosophy of Max's little article...
It's not really funny. If you laugh at it, you're kind of messed up. The biting, dark truths that Max reveals with each platinum piece of prose are too bright for many human minds to see. We blink and shudder away from such thoughts. Is head trauma that funny?
Laugh damnit you broken little fool, it IS that funny!

sorry, overboard

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Once again a wonderful blend of dark humor and artistic surrealism.

Max, you are a true master!

BTW, I will totally paint that crucified Berger Meister Meister Berger painting!

[HeroliciousDeBlanc]

David Mamet is the worst playwright I've ever read (by force, as well in English class). Just throwing that out there.

[Mockery]

This is seriously the best thing I've read in a while and one hell of a fine Christmas gift, Max.

[Doctor_Who]

Awesome in every imaginable way.

[doopa]

wow max. you are so talented. seriously

[MrWarranty]

What in the (you are going to) hell.

[LittleDollClaudia]

Ah, Gary Busey. That man is a flippin' train wreck. Who knew he could be so funny, at least in this?

I do believe in the spirit..of commercialism.

[Pretzel]

Very nice article, Max. I enjoyed it a lot, thank you.

[mburbank]

Hey, Pretz! I pmed and emailed you, I hope you got them. Merry Christmas!

[EchoCharlie]

Great work. I was reading this before going to bed and had a giggle attack suddenly (you know snorted to stifle the laugh)at the memory of the II. variation and blew snot on my sleeping wifes back. Well she was sleeping - then she wasn't...chuckling about that now...

[Lordsalmon]

Dear Mr. Burbank
You are brilliant. Thank you.

[Desert_Screams]

Max, damn your brilliant hide, this is easily the best thing you've written on this site, and easily one of the very best essays of the year gone by. Trimming away the wonderfully lunatic fringes-- Gary Busey, the STAR WARS stuff-- there's some profunidity in there.

Yes, profundity. A word that looks wrong no matter how long you look at it. And I look at it a long-assed time, believe you me.

Jesus and Santa in the bar-- although it sounds like the set-up to a joke Henny Youngman might have discarded in the early '70s-- is some great character work and honest-to-Xenu pathos, but the best thing here (IMNSHO) is Santa as the derailing nightclub magician. I don't think we should hope for a Burbank piece that sounds like Mamet; we should wait for something by Mamet, that sounds like Burbank. 'Cos that Burbank fella, he's damned good.