Features

Hugh Jerection · #51

Best column ever ^_^

FYI: The half nekkid nazi bint is called Bruno and she is the Jokers gf/bodyguard, at least she is according to Frank.

boredbootneck · #52

I just wish people would stop supporting this book!
It doesnt matter WHY you buy it, when DC see good sales they dont care why and they will continue to reward Frank for being lazy and spiteful.
I have been reading this trainwreck but what I do is read it in the store and then buy another comic at random so I dont feel like Im ripping off the store.It also improves my odds of finding something actualy good!
I feel so cheated by all of the Batman writers lately.

GreenHorn55 · #53

This book simply sells because it has Frank Miller and Jim Lee's names on it. If anyone else wrote it the book would be over by the fourth issue.

Copper · #54

So, I found a link on one of the other sites I visit regularly entitled "Top 50 Comic WTF Moments" and can you guess what clocks in at #27? I'll give you a hint...I wouldn't be posting it here if it were Wolverine in a dress. Yes, True Believers, it's the GODDAMN BATMAN.

http://www.ugo.com/comics/wtf-moment...an&morepics=17

That should link directly to the specific article, but in case it doesn't...

Quote:

Throughout his career, Frank Miller has always been termed a "renegade." He's spoken of in the same reverential tones as Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman, as irreverent as he is. For new comic fans, those that have entered into this lifestyle in the past 10 years, it's hard to really understand the position that Miller holds for the long time fans. Frank Miller is the guy who wrote Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, and Daredevil: Born Again. He's the writer who created the whole concept of the "year one" origin comic. To the noobs, however, he's the writer who turned Batman into a royal dick.

Coming up with the comic book version of "Numa Numa" or "Chocolate Rain," Miller, within the pages of All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, coined the phrase, "I'm the Goddamn Batman!" and it caught on like wildfire. It became a joke, even in the pages of ASBAR, as Batman said it every issue, every few pages. Miller knew not to take himself too seriously, even if the fanboys did.

The rest of the countdown is pretty good, too. At times funny, at times serious it's an interesting trip down comic history.

Primortal · #55

So that TOTALLY excuses this mess suddenly, Copper??? O.o

Sorry, but I'm gonna have to call BULLSHIT here.

I respected the old Frank Miller, when he seemed to actually give a damn, drew really well, and didn't write his comics like a 12-year old fanfiction writer on a sugar high.

But that doesn't excuse this wretched pile of flaming ass.... well... except maybe getting to read Protoclown's reviews. :P

Copper · #56

*holds hands up* Never said it did. I'm just reporting what I found. I thought it was funny and given that we talk about the goddamn Batman, it would be interesting to share with all of you.

Personally, I'm with Proto. Miller's freaking batshit psycho, or at least his (Goddamn) Batman is.

SlimJim · #57

OK, let's all assume Miller has gone completely insane, or is just screwing with everyone for one reason or another. What I want to know is, what the hell does Jim Lee think when he gets these scripts? I mean, with direction like "large, burly woman with Howie Long's haircut stands guard outside the hotel room, with swatikas over her nipples", how can Lee not see that he's crapping on his legacy too?

Graystreet · #58

Jim Lee most likely doesn't have a choice, DC has proved that it doesn't take individuality/rebellion against it's diabolical machinations lightly, he may be working on a crappy comic book, but eventually, Miller will get bored, and he'll work on something better, if he said something about the state of the book, he risks being blacklisted by DC, and possibly even Marvel, which would be a huge blow to a comic book artist.

Rufus the Perturbed · #59

Wow, I've been away too long. As always, great article Proto. I must say I'm a little disappointed you didn't include my favorite part starting issue 9 when Batman (pardon, the GODDAMN BATMAN) has a crazy little internal monologue in which he thinks Green Lantern has potentially ultimate power but "the imagination of a potato." Despite the obvious insanity of this whole run, I still found that part a little witty. Seriously, though, a monthly comic that only manages to print THREE ISSUES A FUCKING YEAR? If I still paid for comics, I'd have to kill somebody. I really miss back when Marvel and DC weren't both indirectly owned by the Prince of Lies.

Rufus the Perturbed · #60

Oh yeah, forgot.....I seriously think the popularity of this series is solely due to morbid fascination. Yeah, Frank Miller and Jim Lee both have their names printed huge on the cover, but after reading the second issue, it became pretty obvious to me that there was no hope. And that's the catch. Everyone reading it just wants to see how much worse it can get. It's like seeing a plane crash or train wreck, and everyone's saying, "How horrible! How aweful! How could God let this happen?" and yet, nobody looks away. In fact, I bet some people said those same things after reading this book. How could God let this happen? How could he not take Frank Miller before he went insane? Well, screw Frank Miller and screw God too, I think it's hilarious. I wonder if Miller has any idea how much he's being mocked for this or if he's just happily dreaming of the Goddamn Batman in Spartan briefs and a red cape.

Rufus the Perturbed · #61

Oh, and one more thing.........DAMN YOU AND YOUR LEMONADE!

Graystreet · #62

I honestly can't believe that people keep saying Frank Miller went insane, he started insane. He was kept in check during his run on Daredevil by Marvel's stricter character control at the time, which fooled people into believing he was a good writer, and sane. Then came his first spout of Batman crap which was insane, but practically post-apocalyptic so it was accepted.

Batman - Year One? Mostly sane, but he kept himself in check so he could directly influence Batman's entire continuity to fit with his insanity.

Finally, you get his magnum opus, Sin City. Which I'll honestly admit is kinda great at several points, but it can be as insane as he wants, because it's his universe, he gets to decide if the apple hits Newton on the head, or splits him down the middle.

But after that? He sits there, trying to revisit his earlier glories and failing. Then we get this and we see that he thinks it's still within his power to turn the apple into a lovechunk, and we know it's not and we care because they aren't his characters.

yabuturtle · #63

Damn...Just when I thought Frank Miller couldn't get any crazier. Sure he always seemed like a disturbed fellow, at least compared to other comic writers at the time, but THIS? At first I hated it, but now I'm laughing at how insanely ridiculous it is. Is Frank Miller even aware of what's going on?

Primortal · #64

Sorry for seemingly lashing out at you Copper, nothing against you in the slightest.

Just get a wee bit angry with All-Star (Goddamn) Batman. Well... that AND the (Goddamn) Spirit movie now too, aka: Sin City: The Untold Chapter.

chemquat · #65

my only contact with this comic is through these articles, and i totally prefer it that way. i loooove proto's version, with all his comments and stuff. i just HATE that it takes so long for miller to release this crap!

Grossenschwamm · #66

Miller's just been busy directing movies with his signature crazy as fuck dialog and logic.
Yes, I'm looking at you, The Spirit.

the_legendary_shark · #67

After reading these three articles, I just had to register in order thank you for writing them. I haven't read these particular goddam Batman comics and, after reading your hilarious articles, I don't think I ever will. Not that this is a bad thing. It's just that I know I will never enjoy them as much as you do, and will never enjoy reading them as much as I've enjoyed reading you writing about them. Um.

The whole story and the way in which you tell it is simply sublime and makes no bones about how fundamentally stupid superhero stories are - no matter how much we love them. The incident with Miss Neo Nazi Uberjuggs Bodyguard person so perfectly demonstrates this point. The original strip can only hint at the absurdity of it all, maybe even play up to it a little, but only here are the flaws so fully exposed. And, you know what? It makes the story better, gives it another dimension that would never work in the comic itself but is nevertheless valid.

I'm kinda' coming to the completely bizarre conclusion that absolutely the best way to enjoy this series is by having you tell me about it. I'd like to thank you and, through you, Frank goddam Miller, for such royal entertainment. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense, but after what I just read, I'm not sure that matters much. Oh no, I'm not sure that matters much at all.

rd5589 · #68

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystreet

Jim Lee most likely doesn't have a choice, DC has proved that it doesn't take individuality/rebellion against it's diabolical machinations lightly, he may be working on a crappy comic book, but eventually, Miller will get bored, and he'll work on something better, if he said something about the state of the book, he risks being blacklisted by DC, and possibly even Marvel, which would be a huge blow to a comic book artist.

True.

It is kinda like pro-wrestling. You don't talk crap about your current employer lest you need to come back to them.

raoul duke · #69

WOW, Miller has truly lost it dkr was excellent but,starting with dkr2 it felt like the story was crafted with hitting scrambled words that wher hanging from a dart board

Yaanu · #70

Personally, I thought the lawyer lady was kinda hot, up until the part where her eyes rool into the back of her head.

zeboi · #71

I don't mean to be a smart ass, but the nazi woman is just the same girl who appears in the Dark Knight Returns, issue #3, I believe. And she was the Mutant Boss girlfriend as you might recall it.

tranz2deep · #72

Miller's as much as saying outright that he is just doing this to settle his contractural obligations with DC.

The Nazi woman? Joker's Leiutenant in The Dark Knight Returns.

Merkel? Gordon's assistant in that same piece.

I don't know if anyone's ever bothered to READ the freaking forward to Dark Knight, but Alan Moore hit it on the head that Miller was writing the capstone to Wayne's career as Batman. CLOSURE, people!

Then they insisted he write more of it. Remember the utter horsehockey that was The Dark Knight Strikes Again??

This series is about the dystopia that created that crapsack world. The Dark Knight characters are a dead giveaway.