Depression

[Grislygus]

Do you have an chemical imbalance? Then the solution is medication. If not, follow me on Greasy Gus' Patented Twelve Step Program!

REPEAT AFTER ME:
1. As I have no genuine disorders, I am depressed because I'm not the person I want to be!

2. I am not the person I want to be because of my own decisions!

3. Though I'm a moody, lazy, unmotivated little twerp with a weight problem and little control over his/her own impulses, I am in control of my analysis of the situation!

4. I accept reality, and adamantly refuse to blame anyone else for my own decisions!

5. Now that I have a spine, I hereby resolve to slowly but resolutely improve myself!

6. Fuck, I haven't been improving myself!

7. Now I'm crying!

8. Still not improving myself!

9. Now I am seriously sick of this bullshit! I will now take up something constructive and therapeutic, like weight lifting or art
while striving towards forging a career in the real world, getting my own home, and not leeching off of my parents when I am [insert realistic target age here.]!

10. I recognize that I will never be perfect, while continuing to strive towards my goals!

11. I have now achieved my goals!

12. I now have an entirely new set of problems, and am more miserable, dejected, and pathetic than ever before!

[Bod]

Originally Posted by Grislygus

Do you have an chemical imbalance? Then the solution is medication. If not, follow me on Greasy Gus' Patented Twelve Step Program!

REPEAT AFTER ME:
1. As I have no genuine disorders, I am depressed because I'm not the person I want to be!

2. I am not the person I want to be because of my own decisions!

3. Though I'm a moody, lazy, unmotivated little twerp with a weight problem and little control over his/her own impulses, I am in control of my analysis of the situation!

4. I accept reality, and adamantly refuse to blame anyone else for my own decisions!

5. Now that I have a spine, I hereby resolve to slowly but resolutely improve myself!

6. Fuck, I haven't been improving myself!

7. Now I'm crying!

8. Still not improving myself!

9. Now I am seriously sick of this bullshit! I will now take up something constructive and therapeutic, like weight lifting or art
while striving towards forging a career in the real world, getting my own home, and not leeching off of my parents when I am [insert realistic target age here.]!

10. I recognize that I will never be perfect, while continuing to strive towards my goals!

11. I have now achieved my goals!

12. I now have an entirely new set of problems, and am more miserable, dejected, and pathetic than ever before!

That's the most perfect description of depression I've ever come across.
But knowing the problem doesn't mean you know how to fix it.