Protoclown's 2008 Movie Awards

[MockBot]

Automatically generated comment thread for Protoclown's 2008 Movie Awards.

[Popsicle]

Lol midnight meat train, where did you find that lmao.

[Relaxing Dragon]

Great list indeed this year. Kudos to giving Hellboy II and Burn After Reading some more recognition, those were excellent films (and yet I keep running into people who hate them with a passion). I've come to peace with Indy IV, though it's presence will certainly never grace my DVD collection. Full agreement on Be Kind Rewind; it was trying really hard and I wanted to like it, but in the end it just wasn't meant to be.

And The Midnight Meat Train is freaking amazing (my favorite horror movie of 2008). The name drew me in, Vinnie Jones' unyielding stare sat me down, and that hammer pounded the shit out of me. Fantastic movie in every way (though it only barely made it into theaters, having been effectively raped by Lionsgate).

[Relaxing Dragon]

I would also like to note that I have seen (all the way through) Beer For My Horses. I would recommend that anyone wishing to actually enjoy it be at least 80% redneck.

[electric ninja]

How could anyone think Beverly Hills Chihuahua would be a good movie.
NOBODY EVEN LIKES CHIHUAHUAS! Their not even dogs, their just overgrown rats.

[neoboman]

Great list; a few notes:

-I saw Rambo with my friend and Midnight Meat Train was one of the trailers. I whispered to him, "Wait 'til you see the title of this movie." When the title popped up, everyone in the almost sold out theater laughed.

-Gran Torino? Gran Torino wasn't brutal at all. The trailer made it appear that way, but it sure wasn't.

-Good call on Best Sequel and Biggest Disappointment.

-That Beer for My Horses movie comes on CMT like every day. Obviously I don't watch CMT, but i see it on the guide so often it's sick.

-Midnight Meat Train was pretty good, but I'm biased as I really like Ryuhei Kitamura. I caught it on FEARnet (or whatever) as we didn't even get it here, and we get almost everything.

[Alcibiades]

I thought Be Kind Rewind wasn't that bad, not really super memorable but I did like it, more or less.

I didn't see Rambo in theaters, my roomate was watching it in our living room while I was playing cards with friends. I wasn't paying too much attention till I looked up and asked him with sudden interest. "Did that guy just explode into a pile of meat?" We all quit the game, made him restart the movie, glad we did.

And George Lucas... damn you George Lucas... damn you

[Julio]

electric_ninja: Amen to that. I don't know what's with people liking chihuahua's so much these days anyway. I find in it the greatest excuse possible to make a movie oriented towards the rich and obnoxious.

[Doctor_Who]

I firmly believe that Lucas sold his soul in order to get the original Star Wars trilogy made, and by the terms of that deal he must now serve Satan by making whatever movies he wants. It says something that the best Lucas movie of the last 25 years is Howard the Duck.

[Icculus]

In the Most Horrific Abomination Committed to Film I'm sure that B.H.C. was complete drech. But everyone knew that from the poster and previews and sharp pain you get in your brain when you think about. Now Twilight is a complete abomination in its own sneaky clever way like Jerry McGuire. Twilight claims to be a movie about vampires and teenage angst, alright I can get behind that. But then all of a sudden you find out these vampires don't feed on people, enh, ok I guess i buy it. Then to top it all off...oh vampires CAN go out in the sun they just glitter. Glitter? What? NO! Vampires can't go out in the sun. I stormed home opened up Preacher shoved it in my girls face and said, "see, look...vampires burn, then fucking explode! They don't *glitter*". There is only one Day Walker that I want to see movies about.

[fluffkomix]

my god.

i must see burn after reading. contrary to what you said, all my friends have seen it and they all like it.

[Protoclown]

Originally Posted by neoboman

-Gran Torino? Gran Torino wasn't brutal at all. The trailer made it appear that way, but it sure wasn't.

Let’s be clear about one thing. Everything Clint Eastwood does is brutal. When he brushes his teeth, it’s brutal. When he combs his hair, it’s brutal. And when he donates to a local charity, it’s fucking brutal. Gran Torino the film itself was not brutal, which is why it did not win.

[RaNkeri]

Knowing you're the comic geek I was kinda hoping to see Punisher: Warzone to get at least a nomination. I still haven't seen the film (and probably will not until it gets a dvd release. apparently we Finns are too pussies to have it on theaters), but I've heard that Ray Stevenson and Dominic West do great job, and that the film has plenty of action and gore too.

Other than that I agree with the list, although I haven't heard of the midnight meat train until now.

[Kench]

I didn't see anyone else comment on this -- Incredible Hulk WAS NOT a sequel. It was not meant to be attached to the abomination that came before it in any way... this is the reason the movie did poorly, everyone thought it was a sequel, when it wasn't.

[Marthaeus Autolykos]

I found the trailer to Gran Turino HILARIOUS. It looked like Clint Eastwood is trying to prove he's not too old to do action movies, but the result caused him to play into a stereotype of the elderly: disgruntled geezer with a rifle muttering "Get off my lawn." I couldn't help but laugh, but then I realized I was the only one in the theater doing so.

In fact, I think a great new category for next time would be "Most Horrific Portrayal of a Stereotype in a Major Motion Picture." I had seen this particular trailer when seeing my semi-annual movie in a theater, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" on this occasion. Parts of this movie were filmed across the street from my apartment, and being made and set in city I hold so dear made me curious to see it. However, few things aggravate me to the core like horrible phony "Gone With the Wind" Southern accents; in addition to being a cultural insult it's also akin to hearing nails on a chalkboard. Could it have been so difficult to simply walk around and listen to how the locals talk, or better yet use them in the film? The short-lived show "K-Ville" was plagued with the same faked Southern accent. New Orleans has an accent similar to New York; a vast majority of people here are descended from Italian, Irish, and Jewish immigrants, it was the second largest port of entry into the US after Ellis Island. Alright, need to wrap up the rant, but I'm obviously irate about that. Anyhow, I doubt I even need to mention any more examples for the category; it's practically impossible to see movies without the use of token stereotypes.

[HowardC]

I think the problem with be kind rewind is that for a movie that everyone was expecting (because of the premise) to be completely silly and out-there it was grounded with this rather depressing story about a small community that was falling apart at the hands of change. For every crazy movie remake they would make you'd be slapped in the face with some more really depressing plot just when you start to enjoy yourselves. It was billed as a wacky buddy comedy but was actually one of those depressing arthouse films. I enjoyed it a lot, I just didn't find it funny and I desperately WANTED it to be funny.

As for the X-files movie, I'll be honest in that I haven't seen it yet. The problem with this film is the HORRIBLE promotion (or lack there of) it recieved. I didn't even know the thing was in production and then poof! A few weeks before it is released these very "tv-movie" commericals start popping up for it. And when do they decide to release it? Between Iron Man and the Hulk of course. The poor film didn't have a chance.

[MarioRPG]

I just watched Be Kind, Rewind ten minutes ago.

It was disappointing. All those choices were pretty spot on.

[Kilgore Cod]

"Anyone who hadn't given up on X-Files when Mulder left probably has an unhealthy obsession with Gillian Anderson"

Guilty!

[kidneyboy]

It says something that the best Lucas movie of the last 25 years is Howard the Duck.

Thanks Doctor Who! I couldn't have said it better myself. The prequels sucked balls compared to the orig. three. Last Crusade was okay, but still not as good as the first two Indy movies. Haven't seen the Crystal Skull yet, but I might not need to from everything I've been hearing!

Also, who's excited for Howard the Duck to be on DVD? Yeah I am!

[Gourry]

How can you nominate Bangkok Dangerous for Most Awesome Title and Stupidest Title?

[executioneer]

because sometimes stupid things are awesome

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I really enjoyed Be Kind Rewind. To me it was the story that was more compelling that the characters in it. Individually they're decent but being together is what mattered. I really enjoy Michael Gondry's movies but I wasn't expecting Be Kind Rewind to be the "Be all, end all" for movies. I was just expecting it to be good. I wasn't expecting the world out of Science of Sleep either and I enjoyed it. Maybe if I had it would be slightly disapointing to me.

[HeroliciousDeBlanc]

You competely dropped the ball on Sequel No One Was Looking Forward To:

Nominee and Sure Winner The Pink Panther 2 with Steve Martin! A gross abomination and immoral debasement of everything Peter Sellers molded into hilarity... FOR THE SECOND TIME! I did it see this movie. I do not need to. I saw the trailers for it and its predecessor.

[Nick]

I need to see The Midnight Meat Train.

[Mockery]

Midnight Meat Train was sadly an extremely uneventful movie if you ask me. The story just dragged on and it definitely should've been more, hmm... how would Proto put it... brutal! The best thing about it is the title.