It sounds like you're trying to say that you're a dumbass.
In which one of my posts did I inadvertantly say that? You might have been reading one of your own.
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?