are you fucking mocking me... its getting pretty old with the land of tears bs. so please stop
Sorry, but mocking is the key word. Have you read the name of the website?
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Gas and masturbation are highly unlikely to be connected with each other. Have you tried to stop masturbating? Has the gas subsided as a result? Perhaps you could try the same experiment by increasing the times you masturbate daily. Do you notice that the gas is increasing?