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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
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Location: cancer
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Old May 4th, 2009, 03:55 PM       
green oh my green

How green are you today
My fair lady
Whom was so tired
That she couldn't
Cut the grass and that had
Feelings of envy for her fellow
Women?

Must you be so droll
As to expect me to make
Your day well when you
Are yet so pale and sickly?

How dare you think you're so
Helpless. Dearie dear, you are
As a blight to the firs,
It is any wonder why I
Keep you at all.

My senior English teacher liked this one.
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Oh god fathom zero, you are revealing yourself to be completely awful
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
ZeldaQueen is probably a spambot
Old May 4th, 2009, 08:20 PM       
Santa the Pirate King

Santa decided one Christmas Eve
That he was fed up and was going to leave
He was tired of the North Pole and endless snow
And elves badgering him wherever he'd go

He wanted to travel and see new lands
Cliffs and beaches and islands and sands
To travel the world he'd never seen
This was Santa's Ultimate Dream

So he died his beard a ragged black
And stuffed treasure, not toys, into his sack
He wore an eyepatch and started to sing
"Drink up me hearties! I be the Pirate King!

Around the seas I now will roam,
The entire world will be my home!
I can feel the sun and warmth for a start
Instead of building toys that should not come apart!

I'll feel the wind and enjoy the breeze
And go wherever I darn well please!"
Thus said the once jolly old elf
Who laughed with the thought, quite pleased with himself

To further prepare for his upcoming trip
He exchanged his sleigh for a galley ship
Then he left his eight reindeer on solid land
And found himself a crew of able deck hands

"Weigh anchor! Set sails! Check the wind!" he cried
"All hands on deck! Man your stations!" he sighed
"To the seven seas, to the oceans blue,
Now set sail you swabs, every one of you!"

Now Santa's a pirate who sails the Earth
But his eyes still twinkle and he still has his girth
And you can recognize the cry he'll bellow:
"Merry Christmas me hearties! And a Yo Ho Ho!"
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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