Weekly Movie Review: Mutant Chronicles

[MockBot]

Automatically generated comment thread for Weekly Movie Review: Mutant Chronicles.

[Dr. Boogie]

I challenge you to watch this clip and not laugh:

[King Credo]

Damn! I lost. That was funny

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Damn. They should have just made a movie version of Doom Troopers.

[Julio]

Awesome blow of brains!!!

[Copper]

Despite the review and despite the obvious hokey factor of the movie, I still want to see it for two reasons: Ron Perlman and nostalgia. Not for a video game but for a miniatures game. Wayback in my college days, in the 90's, I remember playing a Warhammer-esque spin-off game called, yup, Mutant Chronicles. What reminded me of it was Bauhaus. Your character was from one of the Houses (or corporations) and as such got a particular trait. You'd have a mission you needed to run through and accomplish all the while avoiding mutants, traps, and occasionally the other players. Not so big on the survival horror that this seems to lend itself too, but I'll give it a shot from the Red Box for a buck.

[Alcibiades]

When do you think someone steps back, looks at something, and says it's crap? The moment I saw the trailer for this I knew it was going to be at best campy, and it sounds like it wasn't able to fully hit the camp factor I might have been hoping for.

As a side note, I am sick and tired of people sealing away ancient evils. Especially when they know how to destroy them. These ancient warriors were all a bunch of jackasses.

Also, modern technology needs to step it up. How come ancient tech is always so much better at destroying these evils than modern ones? And for that matter, if the anicent civilizations had these great evil destroying weapons how come they're the ones who were wiped out?

And why is it that a group of five misfits is always more effective than an army?

Dangit these storytelling cliche's are hurting my brain.

[RevengeVirus]

Fuck it, I dug it, and dug it hard.

[Dr. Boogie]

Originally Posted by Copper

Despite the review and despite the obvious hokey factor of the movie, I still want to see it for two reasons: Ron Perlman and nostalgia. Not for a video game but for a miniatures game. Wayback in my college days, in the 90's, I remember playing a Warhammer-esque spin-off game called, yup, Mutant Chronicles. What reminded me of it was Bauhaus. Your character was from one of the Houses (or corporations) and as such got a particular trait. You'd have a mission you needed to run through and accomplish all the while avoiding mutants, traps, and occasionally the other players. Not so big on the survival horror that this seems to lend itself too, but I'll give it a shot from the Red Box for a buck.

I understand what you mean, but I'm afraid you'll still be disappointed. The movie was shot on a slim budget, and because of the new setting, none of the familiar characters from the source material look anything like they normally would, nor are there any of the cool weapons and such. Worse yet, there's only one kind of mutant: a zombie-looking guy with a big tusk where his right arm should be, and some big stitches going up his face. Also, the actual corporations are only mentioned in passing.

But I suppose a buck is about what it's worth to see what I'm talking about firsthand.

[Gato]

Pfft, what. I laughed.

[Nick]

That scene made me smile.

[Copper]

As a side note, I am sick and tired of people sealing away ancient evils. Especially when they know how to destroy them. These ancient warriors were all a bunch of jackasses.

Also, modern technology needs to step it up. How come ancient tech is always so much better at destroying these evils than modern ones? And for that matter, if the anicent civilizations had these great evil destroying weapons how come they're the ones who were wiped out?

And why is it that a group of five misfits is always more effective than an army?

Alcibiades, I direct your attention to the "Grand List of Console RPG Cliches." (Full version found here.
Particularly, #62 - Thousand Year Rule
The Ancient Evil returns to savage the land every thousand years on the dot, and the last time it showed up was just about 999.9875 years ago. Despite their best efforts, heroes of the past were never able to do more than seal the Evil away again for the future to deal with (which brings up the question of just how exactly does this "sealing away" work anyway, but never mind.) The good news is that this time, the Evil will get destroyed permanently. The bad news is that you're the one who's going to have to do it.

and #155 - Evil May Live Forever, But It Doesn't Age Well
Even though it took the greatest armies in the world and all of the world's greatest magicians to seal away an ancient evil in an apocalyptic war, once said ancient evil breaks free three fairly inexperienced warriors can destroy it.

And Dr. Boogie - That being the case, maybe I'll just check out the novelization instead *laughs* Of course, that clocks in at $7.99, so...*makes scales motion with hands*

[Darren Spooner]

Damn it. I was hoping for this one to be good, what with all the time I spent playing the RPG. Changing EVERYTHING except the name seems to be taking the "interpretation" thing a bit too far... Oh well, Chronicles never had anything on the original Mutant games, but it was still good fun. Damn it.

[Chuggernaught]

Yep, it made me giggle.

[testtube]

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiitt one second

DOOM TROOPERS from SNES?? This?

[OxBlood]

I had to watch that boring abomination of a movie twice already...and it was even worse the second time since I already knew what kind of lame...stuff is gonna happen. And there is an unusual ammount of death by energydrink-bottle-shaped-grenade in there.

The funny thing is, I know the Tabletop Mutant Chronicles-Game and it still took me quite some time to even realise that the movie was supposed to have something to do with that...Bah.

[Dr. Boogie]

Well why the hell did you watch it a second time? I'm here in this thread trying to stop people from seeing it once.